


supercut, pt. 1

by chtkwn (mooshu)



Series: disorderly au [12]
Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Autism, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Neurodiversity, autistic!leo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-06-07 00:40:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15207020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mooshu/pseuds/chtkwn
Summary: Life is starting to change, and Taekwoon doesn't know if he likes it or not.





	1. a dilemma

There's fog in Taekwoon's mind right now. It clouds up his thoughts and makes his head feel hot and heavy. He came outside to the backyard to lay down on the cool grass still wet from rain. Inside is not good because Hakyeon is in a sour mood, and he snapped at Taekwoon, and that really hurt his feelings eventhough he knows he didn't do anything, it was just the weight of everything that's on Hakyeon's shoulders that made him get angry.

That is not the cause of fog though, because it was already there as Taekwoon approached to ask Hakyeon, _Does your brain get foggy? Am I the only one?_ Before he could even finish the sentence Hakyeon had shushed him, "Not right now, I'm busy!", as he typed furiously at his computer, because something had gone wrong with some paperwork or whatever at his job. Taekwoon doesn't know, office work is too difficult for him to grasp.

He thinks the fog comes from the phone call with his sister, Minsol. Sometimes she's fine to talk to but lately she keeps asking him to move back to his hometown. There's a cafe near her house that's entirely made of employees with disabilities, he could get a job there, wouldn't that be nice? He could live in the group home and make friends and join the special soccer team.

It's time for Hakyeon to find a wife and start a family. "It's hard for him while you're still living together," she tells him, not unkindly. "He's too nice to tell you himself." They can still be friends and talk on the phone and even visit each other. The group home has visiting day and a cafeteria they can eat at together. Taekwoon can invite him to his special soccer games.

Taekwoon eyes get wet just thinking about it, even if he's know it's unlikely to happen. The thoughts of living in a strange place with people he doesn't know is scary. He doesn't want to work at the cafe, he likes the library. He doesn't want to play special soccer, he plays regular soccer with his group of friends and acquaintances just fine. What he does want to do is scream to his sister through the phone and tell her these things, and to tell her that Hakyeon is more than just a friend to him now, but Hakyeon still isn't ready to tell their families yet.

He squeezes his eyes shut, because it's starting to sprinkle a little rain again. It feels nice, maybe it will help clear his foggy mind even more.

He thinks this bothers him so much because he's scared of it becoming true. Hakyeon will tire of him. He'll get sick of always giving and never receiving, because what use does Taekwoon have in this relationship anyway? He doesn't do _anything_. Hakyeon will want children, he's the only child so it's expected, and Taekwoon accepted a while ago that the chances of him ever being capable of raising a child is slim. Hakyeon needs someone better, and stronger, and smarter, someone responsible and worthwhile. Someone that can handle children, give Hakyeon the stability that he deserves, someone that will drink real wine instead of grape juice at those boring dinner parties his office has-

"Taekwoon!" His thinking is interrupted by Hakyeon as he hurries through the rain over to him. "It's _raining_!" he says. "You need to get inside."

Taekwoon lets Hakyeon help him off the ground, hugs an arm around his shoulder as he leads him back to the house. Hakyeon nags about sickness and dirtiness but Taekwoon barely hears because of the rain roaring in his ears and the fog getting thicker. 

"You should get into dry clothes," Hakyeon tells him as they enter inside. He pushes Taekwoon towards their bedroom, and Taekwoon obeys. He opens their closet and grabs the first thing he sees, an old weathered t-shirt. He gets sweatpants from the dresser. He takes his rain drenched sweater off. He stands there for a moment holding the clothes, not doing anything, just watching how his hands shake. He entire body is shivering, but he doesn't think it's because of the cold from the rain. 

It's bad fog, bad phone call, bad Taekwoon's brain. "Hakyeon," he calls frantically, because he's a little scared.

Hakyeon peeks his head in at first, then enters entirely once he sees how upset Taekwoon is. He sits him down on the bed and holds his hands. "Remember the breathing technique the doctor taught you?" he asks softly, and Taekwoon just barely nods. "Let's do it together."

Taekwoon tries his best to follow along with the technique, which is basically just deep inhaling through your nose, then slow exhaling through your mouth. He doesn't know if it helps, or if it's the comforting weight of Hakyeon's hand on his shoulder. The fog subsides some and his shaking calms down after a few minutes. He still feels the fear, so he clings to Hakyeon so he doesn't go anywhere. Hakyeon watches Taekwoon with a concerned and somewhat pained look, and waits on him to calm down a bit before speaking again.

"Is it because of earlier?" Hakyeon asks. "I wasn't angry at you- I was frustrated at my coworker."

Taekwoon shakes his head. "I know," he answers quietly, then takes a deep inhale, slow exhale as he begins to think of the real reasons why he's like this. "I don't want to play special soccer at the group home."

"What are you talking about?" Hakyeon is completely confused.

"Why can't we tell our families?" Taekwoon sniffles, more tears clouding his vision and rolling down his face. "Minsol thinks we're friends. I'll move out and you will find a girlfriend. Group home doesn't allow pets." He struggles even more to breathe, because it's a lot of words for him, but his mind is going fast and they spill out without being able to stop.

Hakyeon shakes his head. "You're all over the place," he gently says. "Calm down first."

Taekwoon's still not even dressed, just in his damp jeans, and Hakyeon gets him to lay back on the bed so he can slide them off. He dresses Taekwoon in the shirt and sweatpants he had picked out. Taekwoon likes being took care of like this, while his mind is Not Good, but he also feels like a helpless infant and wonders what Hakyeon thinks of him. 

Taekwoon _knows_ that Hakyeon truly doesn't mind, but it's still difficult to be reasonable, not only in times like this but almost all the time. Even after so many years of being together, as best friends and now as partners, he still has countless doubts and fears and sometimes it's easy to push them aside but the phone call has really thrown him hard into those anxieties.

It takes him half an hour to recount everything his sister had said to him to Hakyeon, because of all the words he's having to use, and some parts are just difficult to say - like Hakyeon marrying someone else, having children, only seeing each other on visiting days at the group home. Hakyeon seems to get more and more agitated as the story goes on, shaking his head and scoffing at certain bits.

"You know none of that is going to happen," he says when Taekwoon is finally finished. 

Taekwoon hesitantly nods.

Hakyeon squeezes his hand, sensing his doubt. "It's _not_ ," he says firmly. "I don't want a wife, or anyone else. You know that. Even _if_ I did, I wouldn't send you off like that. You're stuck with me, forever."

The little joke succeeds in making Taekwoon smile, just a small bit, and hearing verbal confirmation soothes his nerves greatly. Hakyeon beams at him, satisfied with himself for being able to lift Taekwoon's mood. "Do you want me to talk to Minsol?" he asks.

Taekwoon shakes his head. "I will," he answers. Sometimes he needs to fight his own battles instead of getting Hakyeon to do it for him, which is fine usually but he feels like standing up for himself to his sister. He was used to being pushed around by his family when he was younger, but now he needs to show them they can't do that anymore. Especially if they want to remain in contact with him. 

"Really? Okay." Hakyeon is suprised, but gives him an encouraging smile.

"Can I tell her?" 

"Tell her what?"

"That we're together."

Hakyeon's smile falls. "Oh," he says. "I'll... think about it."

Taekwoon knows that probably means _no_ , and it's a little frustrating. He tries not to show it because Hakyeon is always patient with him, so Taekwoon needs to be patient on this. It's hard though, especially when he gets phone calls like today's. He knows coming out is a big deal, but he thinks their families really won't mind. Hakyeon's parents has always been open-minded and accepting towards Taekwoon. He's positive they will be towards their own son as well.

"Let's take a mental health day tomorrow," Hakyeon suggests, "and call out of work. We can just lay around here, order food. Or I was thinking we can go visit the new jellyfish exhibit at the aquarium..."

Taekwoon's eyes widen. Everything he had just been thinking about flies out the window. "Jellyfish." 

Hakyeon laughs. "Jellyfish it is."

 

-

 

Taekwoon watches the jellyfish in awe. There's an entire room of them, swimming around behind glass walls. Baby ones, glowing ones, ones in an open tank that you can touch. The one that catches his eye first is huge, yellow with thin long tendrils that spread out everywhere. Hes almost too scared to get too close to it. 

Hakyeon gives him a nudge. "I wanna take a picture!" he says. Taekwoon has to roll his eyes. Wherever they go, Hakyeon has to take a million photos of him with his phone to post on social media. He obeys though and poses with a peace sign next to the jellyfish. Then they take one together, then another as Hakyeon is giving Taekwoon a kiss on the cheek. Taekwoon scrunches his nose up for additional cuteness.

"I love this one," Hakyeon says as they look at it together. Taekwoon agrees. It is a nice picture.

They get in line for the open tank next to pet some jellyfish. Hakyeon goes first because Taekwoon gets a bit scared. You have to time it just right to avoid touching the tendrils, and he doesn't trust himself to do it. He hesitates when Hakyeon tells him it's his turn. He wants to, but he's so nervous. 

"It's okay," Hakyeon says. He takes Taekwoon's hand and guides it to just above the water, helping him dip it in just at the right moment. His fingers brush against the head of passing jellyfish. It's very soft and squishy feeling - it's nice. Taekwoon laughs.

Hakyeon does too. "It's cool, isn't it?" Taekwoon nods and reaches his hand back down to pet another one. He isn't afraid anymore.

"He must like jellyfish." A voice speaks from behind them. The two of them turn around to see a kind, older man looking at Hakyeon, who gives him a polite smile.

"You like all kinds of animals, right Taekwoon?"

"Yes." Taekwoon stares at the floor as he answers, his face reddening. He knows the man is just being friendly, but he deals with these kinds of people a lot. The ones that speak in condescending voices that's usually reserved for children, because that's what they view him as.

"What's your favorite animal?" the man asks.

Hakyeon shakes his head. "Let's get going," he says to Taekwoon. "People are waiting."

They say goodbye and move out the line. Hakyeon asks if he needs to take a break in the restroom or something, but Taekwoon declines. Now that he's out of the situation, he isn't that upset. He's used to it. He's more sad that he didn't get to pet the jellyfish a few more times.

It's late evening when they return home after spending hours at the aquarium. Taekwoon lays out his many souvenirs he got from the gift shop - including a little stuffed fish for Bibi, who immediately begins to swat it around. Taekwoon sits on the floor and giggles as he watches the kitty. He puts on his jellyfish hat and tortoise earrings. He just recently gotten his ears pierced so he's been buying a lot of earrings. He thinks these are his favorite ones so far.

Hakyeon plops down onto the bed, wearing his own jellyfish hat. "Taekwoonie, help me pick out some pictures to post on instagram."

Taekwoon huffs.

"I literally took over a hundred pictures today!" Hakyeon whines. "It's too hard to choose alone."

Unable to say no, Taekwoon sits next to him on the bed and they look through the pictures together. It's actually pretty nice to relive the day, eventhough it's only been an hour or two since they've arrived home. Hakyeon is right - it's difficult to choose just a handful of pictures. Taekwoon definitely wants the one of the Nemo fish posted, and of him eating ice cream at the aquarium cafeteria. Hakyeon is still having a hard time, but has at least narrowed it down to around ten pictures.

"This one for sure," he says, showing the picture they took together in front of the jellyfish tank. Taekwoon nods, and then Hakyeon swipes over to the other one they took, the one where Hakyeon is kissing his cheek. "That one's my favorite."

Taekwoon agrees. "Post it," he says.

"Taekwoon.. you know I can't. All three of your sisters follow me on here."

"Friend kiss."

Hakyeon snorts at that, but before he can reply he's interrupted by Taekwoon's phone going off. He checks it - it's Minsol. It's almost like she knew she had just been talked about it. He glances over to Hakyeon. He really doesn't want to answer it right now. Her phone call yesterday had made him so upset.

Hakyeon reaches over and declines the call. "Mental health day, remember?" he says, and Taekwoon hesitantly nods.

 

-

 

Sadly, mental health day doesn't last forever and the next day Taekwoon is back at the library, and Hakyeon back in the office. Taekwoon wears his tortoise earrings so everyone will know he went to the aquarium. During lunch break, he tells his co-worker about petting the jellyfish, and he even checks out a book about all kinds of sea creatures. The best part about that is he gets to keep for as long he needs to since he's a trusted employee. That's good for him because he's a slow reader.

Taekwoon has a good day but is glad to be back home. He puts some chicken on boil for chicken and noodle soup, and then changes into more comfortable clothing. His phone rings just as he's done dressing. 

It's Minsol. This time, Taekwoon answers since it's no longer mental health day.

"Taekwoon!" she sounds happy to hear him. Taekwoon kind of missed her yesterday. As long as she doesn't bring up stuff that upsets him, she's actually pleasant to talk to. Sometimes she puts Taekwoon's nieces on the phone too, and Taekwoon loves to talk to them as well. 

Minsol does most of the talking today while Taekwoon focuses on cooking. She tells him about taking her dog to the vet, and helping his older niece, Sooyoung, sell Girl Scout cookies, and planting some new flowers in her garden. Taekwoon thinks her life is interesting. It's kind of cookie-cutter and mundane, but he likes the feeling of warmth and domesticity he gets when he hears some of her stories. 

"I saw you went to the aquarium yesterday," she says, turning the subject onto him now. This is the part of their conversations that he dislikes, having to actually talk and answer questions. "That jellyfish is huge. Kyungeun got so excited when I showed her the picture."

Taekwoon smiles. Kyungeun, his younger niece, loves all animals just like him. The last time he and Hakyeon had visited them, they all went to the zoo. Taekwoon had so much fun. He learned so many interesting animal facts from her. "She should come see it."

"Aw, maybe we will someday," Minsol says, "but speaking of Kyungeun, her kindergarten graduation is coming up. She would love to see you attend, and while you're here I was thinking we could tour the group home."

There it is. Taekwoon takes a deep breath before trying to speak. "I -"

Minsol unintentionally cuts him off. "I was looking at a new pamphlet just yesterday. They take monthly trips to zoos, theatres, museums. It sounds like fun, right?"

"I don't want to," Taekwoon mumbles.

"You don't want to come visit?"

"No group home."

"Oh," Minsol sighs. "I knew you wouldn't be interested at first, but give it a chance. Come on the tour and see if you like it."

"No." Taekwoon clenches his fist. He's angrier now than he was the other day. He doesn't like how she's dismissing his feelings. "I have a home."

"I know, but -"

"I have Bibi, I have a relationship, I have the library."

There's pause. Then, "What did you just say? Relationship?"

Taekwoon claps a hand over his mouth, but it's far too late now. He can't believe he just let it slip like that. His entire body is trembling. Thankfully he didn't say _who_ he is in a relationship with, but he still keeps his mouth covered. Taekwoon's not too worried about himself, but he just almost outed Hakyeon. He would never be able to forgive himself if he did that without Hakyeon's full consent. He's sure Hakyeon wouldn't either.

"Taekwoon!" Minsol squeals. He winces. "Why didn't you tell me? Is it that Rin Hee?"

Taekwoon rolls his eyes, but uncovers his mouth to answer. "No," he says. "She's married."

"Ohh, right. Well, who then? Who's the lucky girl?"

Taekwoon does not feel like dealing with this. "I have to go."

He can hear Minsol protesting as he hangs up. He's still shaking. It's not as bad as it was last time, but he sits down onto the floor and does some more deep breathing. Bibi comes up and paws at him curiously. He seems to understand that Taekwoon is upset, and it's soothing. Once he gets the shaking under control, he resumes cooking. Minsol calls two more times but he ignores it. He's not ready to answer any questions she may have, and he doesn't trust himself to not speak before thinking. He doesn't want to let anything else slip.

The soup gets done right as Hakyeon arrives home from work. He seems tired and annoyed after another long day at the office. Taekwoon feels bad for him. Usually, the most stressful thing that happens at _his_ job is when people argue about having late fees, and he isn't even the one that deals with them.

Taekwoon sets the table and fills two bowls full of soup as Hakyeon changes out of his work suit. He comes back in softer looking clothes, but is still wearing a frustrated look on his face. "Taekwoon," he says. "I got a text from Minsol earlier. Something about you being in a relationship."

Taekwoon whines. Of course Minsol would contact Hakyeon about it. He chews on his bottom lip as he thinks of how to respond. "I.. told her," he says, and watches as Hakyeon pales. "No! I did not say who."

"Okay," Hakyeon sighs in relief, a hand held over his chest. He sits down at the table. "We'll have to talk about it later. I'm starving right now."

Taekwoon nods. The more that conversation gets delayed, the better. "You didn't eat lunch?"

Hakyeon doesn't answer. His guilty face says everything though. Taekwoon tsks. It's common for Hakyeon to skip his lunch break on stressful workdays when the office is busy, and Taekwoon doesn't like it. He makes sure Hakyeon eats all of his soup, then gets him another big bowl of it along with some toasted bread rolls. "I'm gonna gain weight," Hakyeon complains, but he eats every bit of it.

 

-

 

They destress by taking a bubble bath together, then snuggling into bed with Bibi in between them. Hakyeon gets on his laptop, presumably to do more work, and Taekwoon opens the library book he checked out. He and Bibi looks at the pictures of the many colorful fish, then he reads the kitty to sleep - very softly, so he doesn't disturb Hakyeon's work. Taekwoon is so absorbed in the book he doesn't even hear his phone ringing, not until Hakyeon nudges him.

It's not surprising when Taekwoon looks and sees that it's Minsol calling again. He declines the call. He's already tired of dealing with this.

Hakyeon notices. "What exactly did you say to her?" he asks.

Taekwoon tells him, not only what he said but about the entire phone call. Her bringing up the group home and asking him to go look at it. Him getting angry and finally biting back at her, only for it to backfire. He leaves out the part where he was shaking and had to do deep breathing, because he doesn't want Hakyeon to worry over him.

When Taekwoon's finished, Hakyeon shuts his laptop. "I have something to tell you," he says. Taekwoon becomes tense. He knows it's probably nothing bad, but hearing those words still gives him a feeling of dread through his body. 

"I've been thinking," Hakyeon begins, "and I think I'm ready."

"To tell?"

"Yes. To tell our families, and to be more open about being together."

Taekwoon's stomach does a happy-flippy feeling. He wasn't expecting this, not so soon. "Are you sure?"

"I am. It's tiring for the both of us to keep hiding and dodging questions from everyone. We've been together for like, six years, it's time to just live freely."

"Six years, three months, twelve days," Taekwoon instantly says.

"...It's so cute you actually know that. I might cry." 

Taekwoon doesn't think he can handle any tears tonight. "Please don't." 

Hakyeon laughs. "I won't," he promises. "Really, though. I think it's best we go to Kyungeun's graduation, and while we're there we'll go out to dinner or something and tell your sisters. Your mother, too. Then we visit my parents. They'll be happy to see us." He suddenly turns solemn. "I just hope they'll be accepting."

"They will." Taekwoon is certain of it. 

Hakyeon looks doubtful, but he doesn't answer. Not right away. Taekwoon can tell that he's thinking about something though, that he has something he wants to say. He waits patiently and gives Bibi pets and scratches as he does. His heart is still happily thumping. He's excited. He wants nothing more than for everyone to know that he is Hakyeon's and Hakyeon is his. There's a handful of people that already does, like Hongbin and Rin Hee, and they've been supportive, so Taekwoon thinks everyone else will be too.

Almost like he's read Taekwoon's mind, Hakyeon says, "Just be prepared if they happen to not like it, okay? I don't want you to get too attached to the idea that everything's going to go smoothly."

"It might."

Hakyeon sighs. "Yes, but it also might _not_. Understand that, please."

"Fine," Taekwoon grumbles. He does know that Hakyeon is right, but he's also low-key annoyed that his optimism is being shot down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. something i have failed to specify in previous parts of this series: their families/general public (???) do not know they're together (basically only hongbin/sanghyuk/rin hee/maybe a couple of others). so i'm sorry if that comes as confusing or shocking adajsfjasd i am trying.
> 
> 2\. rin hi is now rin hee. idk why i chose that spelling in the beginning. someday i'll update the previous parts with the new spelling.
> 
> comments are welcomed. thank you!


	2. a friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for the comments i received on the first chapter, if you continue to comment i will greatly appreciated it!! i don't always answer but i do read every one of them and all are special to me. i hope you enjoy this chapter!

Taekwoon is usually not busy on Sundays, but this one is different.

Today he's going to the park to play basketball with Hongbin and a few of his friends. Honestly, he’s nervous. He's never been around Hongbin without Hakyeon before, and he has no idea what his friends are like. He doesn't know what Hongbin has said to them about him behind his back, if he's said anything at all. If he hasn’t, they’re in for a surprise. Those kinds of encounters usually don’t go too well.

Hongbin initially invited him a few months ago, but Taekwoon is just now taking him up on the offer. His doctor has recommended more exercise to improve his health and mind. He doesn't play soccer a lot these days, because everyone in that circle of friends is so busy - Se Il works a lot, Minseok is recently married, Jinyoung is in military training. He's not sure of what to think watching his friends' lives change so much while his stays at the same pace.

Admittedly, Taekwoon knows very little about basketball though. He watched a few games with his brother-in-law when he visited Minsol, but that's it. He spends much of Saturday reading up on the rules and terms, and memorizes some names of a few popular teams and players just in case it’s brought up. He doesn't want to seem _completely_ clueless.

Hakyeon will be at the laudromat, because Sunday is laundry day. "Think of me while you're out having fun," he teases. Taekwoon promises many cuddles for when they're in bed tonight.

Taekwoon takes the bus to his and Hongbin's meeting place, a small cafe close to the park they’ll be playing at. Hongbin is inside already. He hands an iced lemonade over to Taekwoon. "It's hot today," he says, smiling kindly and showing off his dimple. Taekwoon always has the urge to poke it but he's not sure if that would be too weird.

They sip on the lemonades as they walk to the park where the outdoor basketball courts are. It's completely quiet. Taekwoon is undecided on if it's the comfortable kind of silence or the awkward one. At least he's feeling a little less anxious now that he's with Hongbin. He trusts him, mostly because Hakyeon does, but he’s never gave Taekwoon any bad vibes before.

There's two other guys at the court already when they arrive, and Taekwoon shies away a bit, staying behind Hongbin as they approach them.

"Where's our lemonade?" one of them jokes.

"Get your own!" Hongbin turns towards Taekwoon. "Hyung, this is Jongin," he gestures to the one that just spoke, "and this is Wonshik."

Jongin waves, and Wonshik steps forward with a hand outstretched. Taekwoon is drawn to him immediately because of his _hair_. Half of it is pink, the other half purple. Taekwoon has never seen someone have hair like this before, and he can't help but stare in awe as they shake hands.

Hongbin notices. "His hair looks stupid, right?" he laughs. Wonshik playfully shoves him.

"Cotton candy," Taekwoon says, and then instantly feels embarrassed. He knows that sounded dumb. He scolds himself silently.

Wonshik smiles though. "I thought the same thing when I saw how it turned out."

After the awkward initial introductions are over, they head into actually playing. Taekwoon makes sure his shoelaces are tightly tied, wipes the sweat from his palms onto his shorts, then puts his hair up into a ponytail. It's been a long while since he's had a haircut, so it would just be flopping around annoyingly if he was to leave it down.

And maybe Taekwoon's just hearing things, but he's pretty sure Wonshik says, "Cute", when he sees it. Taekwoon can’t tell if he’s being genuine or patronizing.

It's him and Hongbin against the other two. Taekwoon turns out to be pretty good for someone who’s playing for the first time, and he quickly settles into the game. It's not soccer, but he's still having fun. He's missed moving around like this. It lets out a lot of built of energy and stress.

He gets the ball through the basket in no time. Hongbin gives him double high fives, and Jongin says in disbelief, "Are you sure he's never played before?"

Hongbin laughs. "That's what he said."

Taekwoon likes that he's doing better than expected, but he's not fond of the fact that they're talking about him without addressing him directly. He knows they're not trying to be malicious though.

Wonshik surprises him by patting him on the back. "Good one," he says, then they get back into the game.

 

-

 

They play for a long while, taking water breaks every now and then. As it gets farther into the evening the weather cools down so they decide to go on longer than they had originally planned. Taekwoon is truly having fun. Maybe even more fun than he does with his soccer group. He likes playing with them, but there's always been something about them that makes them seem hesitant towards not only Taekwoon but Se Il as well, the two autistic guys.

Here though, Taekwoon doesn't feel that. He already knew Hongbin, Wonshik seems to be a naturally nice type of person, and Jongin's initial awkwardness disappears quickly and is replaced by playful competitiveness.

They're just getting into another round when it happens. Taekwoon is really focused on playing, and during the last water break, he completely forgot to check his shoes for retying.

He ends up tripping all over himself and falling. He hits the cement hard, the ball bouncing off to the side. Something hurts but he can't figure out what it is. He curls up there on the ground, covering his face behind his hands. He's so embarrassed. Everything was going so well. _Don't cry don't cry don't cry_ , he chants inwardly.

Hongbin gets to him first. "Hyung? Are you okay?" he asks, sounding frantic.

Taekwoon nods. He’s in a lot of pain, but he tries to just be calm. He doesn’t want to freak out around them.

"His knee's bleeding," Jongin points out. So that's what is hurting.

He sits up, taking a look at his knee. It looks gross. There's scrapes and blood and pieces of gravel mixed in, and it stings really bad. He lets out a whimper by mistake.

Jongin glances over at Hongbin. "Do you know what to do?"

Wonshik kneels down in front of Taekwoon, taking his leg gently and examining his knee. "My apartment complex is just down the street," he says. "I could clean it up."

Taekwoon is hesitant. Wonshik is just a stranger, and going into stranger's homes is dangerous. He’s vulnerable and easy to take advantage of. Wonshik is way more built than he is, and he has a lot of tattoos. Usually people with tattoos are strong. Taekwoon would not be able to fight back if something happens.

Setting that aside though, he's been so kind to Taekwoon all day. He's Hongbin's friend. Hakyeon trusts Hongbin, and Hongbin seems to trust Wonshik, so that means Hakyeon must trust Wonshik too in an indirect way.

Taekwoon knows that's stupid reasoning but his knee really hurts. "Okay."

"Don't be gone long, though," Hongbin frowns. Taekwoon suspects that Hakyeon told him to keep a good eye on him. He's not sure how he feels about that.

Taekwoon limp-walks all the way to Wonshik's apartment. It is just right down the street from the park, but it feels miles away since his knee is hurting and there's now a little trail of blood running down his leg. Wonshik walks slowly to match Taekwoon's pace. He doesn't really say much, besides asking Taekwoon if he's okay a couple of times.

The first thing Taekwoon thinks when they arrive is that Wonshik must be rich, because the complex is huge and shiny, more modern looking compared to the other buildings surrounding it. Taekwoon can tell it's been recently built. Wonshik's apartment is giant as well. Even just the foyer is all white and sleek and sparkling. Taekwoon looks around with wide eyes. This place is too fancy for him. He feels like he's going to break or dirty something just by looking at it.

Wonshik leads him into the living room, and gestures towards the plush L-shaped couch. "Just sit here while I go get the first aid kit, okay?"

Taekwoon obeys, moving his leg very carefully so he doesn't get blood anywhere. Just as he's settled down, there's suddenly barking - it makes him jump, and he looks to see a fat, wrinkly dog staring at him curiously. Taekwoon does not move. The pup is so cute but he has no idea if he bites or something. He doesn't need anymore injuries today.

Wonshik comes back, a bag of medical supplies in hand. "Do you like dogs?" he asks. "Ongdongie's friendly."

"Ongdongie?"

"It's cute," Wonshik defends.

Taekwoon smiles. He agrees, it is a cute name and fits the dog well. He holds out his hand, and Ongdongie comes up to him slowly. He sniffs him first before allowing Taekwoon to scratch him behind the ears.

"I have a cat named Bibi," Taekwoon tells Wonshik, who's tending to his knee now.

"I've been wanting a cat but I'm not sure how Ongdongie would react," Wonshik says. "He hates the one my boyfriend has."

Taekwoon likes hearing that Wonshik has a boyfriend. It makes him feel a lot more at ease.

They continue to talk as Wonshik bandages his knee. They talk about their pets mostly, Wonshik has many funny stories about Ongdongie. Taekwoon learns he gets scared of squirrels on their walks, and the mental image of it makes him laugh so much.

Ongdongie, who sits and listens to their conversation, grunts as if he's protesting being gossiped about.

Taekwoon's knee is quickly bandaged, feeling much better. They say goodbye to the pup and head back towards the park, keeping up conversation as Taekwoon asks questions about Wonshik's tattoos and his colorful hair.

"I like to experiment," Wonshik tells him. "Have you ever thought about dying yours?"

Taekwoon has not, but now that he thinks about it, he wouldn't mind. His hair looks so boring compared to Wonshik's. "Maybe blue. My favorite color."

"Hmm, you could pull it off."

Talking makes the walk go by faster, and they soon are back at the park already. Taekwoon finds it a bit sad because he was actually enjoying speaking with Wonshik. Upon entering the basketball court though, he sees that Jongin is nowhere in sight. Just Hongbin, who greets them with a little wave.

"It's getting late, so he left," he says to them. "I guess I need to be going too. Sanghyuk's home tonight." Taekwoon knows that Sanghyuk does a lot of business traveling so he isn't home often.

"You want to grab something to eat with me? I'm starving," Wonshik says. Taekwoon pays no attention, because at first he thinks Wonshik is talking to Hongbin, but after the prolonged silence he realizes he's the one that's actually being spoken to.

" _Me_?" he says. "Okay."

"Would that be fine with Hakyeon?" Hongbin asks.

Taekwoon can't think of any reason why Hakyeon would be against it. "Why?"

Hongbin shakes his head. "Never mind - just let him know where you are. He wanted me to make sure you get home."

So Taekwoon's suspicions are true. Hakyeon made a huge deal of asking Hongbin to babysit him while they were together. Taekwoon does not appreciate that. Maybe a few years ago he would have needed the extra supervision, but he's doing so well now. He made a new friend today and is about to go have food with him. That never happens, and he had been excited to tell Hakyeon but now he doesn't even want to text to let him know he'll be out late. Maybe he won't.

 

-

 

Taekwoon is so full. Wonshik couldn't decide on what kind of food he wanted so they went to a buffet place that has a little bit of everything. Since Taekwoon hadn't eaten since that morning, he did not hold back. He loves food but right now he never wants to eat again.

Whenever the two of them weren't stuffing their faces, they would talk. Taekwoon learns that Wonshik is a music producer and he just moved into his fancy apartment after one of the songs he worked on became an international hit. He loves animals and volunteers often at the shelter he got Ongdongie from. He even invited Taekwoon to go with him. He mentions loving to read too, so Taekwoon tells him to come to his library in return.

They speak so much that Taekwoon’s throat aches, but he has a lot of fun. There's something soothing about Wonshik that makes him easy to befriend, something that Taekwoon rarely finds in people. He hadn't shied away from any of Wonshik's touches, like when he looked after his knee, and didn't feel not one bit of discomfort throughout their meal. That is a big deal, because often eating with other people makes him so anxious he forgets how to chew and swallow properly.

Wonshik seemed to have genuinely enjoyed Taekwoon's company as well. Taekwoon can sense when people are hanging out or talking with him just out of pity or sympathy, but he didn't get that feeling any at all today.

Taekwoon is in high spirits when he gets home. He's greeted by a meowing Bibi and a frantic looking Hakyeon who immediately crushes him with a hug.

"Where were you?" he wails. "I was so worried!"

Taekwoon scoffs, but he returns the hug.. Maybe he feels a little bad now about turning off his phone just to be spiteful. Hakyeon takes his face between his hands and looks him over well, probably trying to find any sign of Taekwoon being hurt or something.

He gasps when he sees Taekwoon’s bandaged knee. “What happened??” he asks.

"I tripped,” Taekwoon answers. “Wonshik helped me. I was with him.”

"Yeah, I know," Hakyeon says, and then he launches into a panicked monologue that runs all together and makes Taekwoon's head hurts. "You didn't answer my messages at all! I called Hongbin and he said you were with his friend, and I've only met him once and he seemed like a nice kid but still I didn't know if you were okay or if he was trying to come onto you or if you were in trouble or-"

Taekwoon covers Hakyeon's mouth with his own hand, and only lets go when he's sure Hakyeon is going to be quiet.

"He has a dog named Ongdongie," he tells him, "and cotton candy hair."

Hakyeon raises an eyebrow. "He's a character, isn't he? So you had fun?"

"We ate at a buffet."

"Oh? Had dinner without me?" Hakyeon huffs. "I'm glad you had fun with your new best friend."

Taekwoon laughs, because he's knows Hakyeon is just being silly and dramatic. "We're going to the animal shelter," he says, “and he’s coming to visit me at the library.”

“Wow, really?” Hakyeon says, then gives Taekwoon a look that he can't really identify. It's one of fondness and pride and admiration. "Taekwoon, do you know how big this is?"

"What?"

"When's the last time you made a friend so easily like this?"

Taekwoon thinks. "You?"

Hakyeon nods. "Now it seems as if you've met someone else you really like. It's great!”

It is, Taekwoon agrees. Maybe he is becoming better at being an adult and socializing with new people. He was so at ease with Wonshik today. He didn't have to make as much effort as he usually does. He wonders if he can continue being like this with not only Wonshik, but with other people as well. It's exciting to think about.

"Next time though,” Hakyeon says, “just please answer if I message you.

Taekwoon nods, but counteracts with, "And next time, I don't need a babysitter."

"I'm sorry. I just wanted Hongbin to watch out since I don't know Jongin or Wonshik that well..."

"I'm fine on my own."

Hakyeon smiles, and that look comes upon his face again. "Yeah. I guess you are."

 

-

 

At first, Taekwoon was worried that his and Wonshik's new friendship was just a one day thing. He rarely answers text messages, but Taekwoon learns it's because he's so busy in his music studio during the week. Sometimes he even sleeps there.

Wonshik does visit the library when he has some free time though. Taekwoon helps him find the novel he's looking for, and he's really impressed by how easily Taekwoon can navigate the numerous aisles of shelves, having memorized the general location for all the genres and countless of books. Taekwoon even recommends a few to him. He can't read long books too well but he can listen to them, and uses the dictionary to look up any words he doesn't know. His vocabulary has actually gotten better because of it, and it makes him feel very adult like.

As promised, they go to the animal shelter to volunteer during the weekend. Their jobs is to feed the animals, and then bathe the pups. Taekwoon chooses the best dog to bathe, because she's calm and sweet and just sits there as he lathers her with puppy shampoo. Her name is Pongo, a small mutt with brown fur and only one eye. She lost her other one due to infection.

Taekwoon falls in love. "I want her," he says to Wonshik, clinging onto the pup and rubbing his face against her fur.

"Adopt her," Wonshik encourages. Taekwoon wishes he could. Their house is too small for a dog though. It's even not enough room for Bibi. Taekwoon ordered a cat tree for him but it's still in its box because he hadn't realized how big it is, and there's not enough space for it in the living room.

Taekwoon is sad to leave Pongo, but he promises her that he will visit again. The staff is kind and tells him to come anytime, with or without Wonshik, and he's definitely going to as much as he can. Maybe even every single weekend. He just really loves Pongo that much.

The animal shelter visit doesn't take as long as expected, so Wonshik suggests they go to his music studio. Taekwoon does not mind that at all. He's never been to a music studio before. He's curious to see what it's like, and if there's going to be any famous people there. He doesn't keep up with celebrity culture much, but he would still ask for a picture just so he could brag.

He wonders if Wonshik is a celebrity. The song he produced did become internationally famous, and he's mentioned a few entertainment companies that have contacted him.

Wonshik's studio looks like something a celebrity would work in. It’s dim with bright purple lights. There's a computer and a bunch of fancy music equipment that Taekwoon is scared of getting too close of. He sits on the sofa, at the end that's farthest from the equipment, while Wonshik is at his music station.

“Are you famous?” Taekwoon has to ask.

Wonshik blushes. “Well, I don't know about _famous_ ,” he says. “I’m no household name.”

“Have you been on TV?”

“A few times.”

That confirms it then. Anyone that has been on television is famous, Taekwoon knows that. He can't believe he has a famous friend, a celebrity that wants to hang out with him. He thought they were always too stuck up.

"Let me play you some stuff I'm working on," Wonshik suggests.

Taekwoon doesn’t know that much about music. Some songs feel good, some songs hurt his ears, and that's all he knows. He still agrees to listen to Wonshik's work though.

Most of the songs feel nice. There's some that are too loud and rough, but Wonshik's quick to turn them down or off whenever Taekwoon shakes his head. He's glad that Wonshik seems to understand and not take any offense to it. His ears are just picky and sensitive and can't handle certain sounds, it has nothing to do with whether or not the song is _good_. Taekwoon thinks they all are. Wonshik is talented.

His phone vibrates in the middle of one of the songs. Taekwoon promised Hakyeon he would answer whenever he messages, so he reaches into his jeans pocket.

As he pulls his phone out though, the medical card Hakyeon insists on him carrying at all times comes out with it and flutters to the floor. Wonshik pushes his wheely chair over to pick it up for Taekwoon before he's able to grab it himself. He stops for a moment as his eyes drift over the words on the card before handing it back to Taekwoon, who is embarrassed.

He stuffs it back in his pocket. He thinks and hopes that would be the end of it, but then Wonshik pauses the music that's playing.

He turns to Taekwoon, curiosity on his face. "I didn't know you... have autism?"

Taekwoon feels very small right now. He's suddenly aware of how intimidating Wonshik looks again, with his mismatched hair and tattoos and muscle arms. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. All he can do is nod and hope for the best.

Wonshik gets up, and Taekwoon shields his face with his hands, afraid of what's next.

"I'm not going to hurt you, hyung," Wonshik sounds confused. All he does is sit down onto the sofa next to Taekwoon. "I'm just surprised, I guess."

Taekwoon peeks through his fingers. "Really?"

There's hesitance in Wonshik's voice. "Well, all Hongbin said is that you're slow.."

That stings. Taekwoon tries to be cool though and just shrugs.

"I don't think you are," Wonshik says. "You're just, like, cautious. But anyway, I do too. Have autism, that is."

Taekwoon's head snaps up, looking at Wonshik in disbelief. "What?"

"Well, Asperger's," Wonshik smiles, "but it's all the same."

Taekwoon has to take a few moments and process this information. Out of all the things he’s learn about Wonshik, he never expected this. "I had no idea," is all he  can think of to say.

"That's usually how it is," Wonshik says. "Most people just think I'm awkward and reserved."

"You're not." Taekwoon is, but not Wonshik.

"Maybe you don't see it because we're the same," Wonshik says. "I seem regular to you because it's how you are too, and that's your normal. Do I even make sense?"

Taekwoon gets it, sort of. Maybe that's what it is. It's the same with Rin Hee, Se Il, any other of his neurodivergent friends and acquaintances. While talking or being with them alone, everything is fine and _normal_. Add other people to the mix, and suddenly Taekwoon is aware of all their differences and how people treat them because of them.

His mind feels blown right now.

“I found out not too long ago,” Wonshik continues. “I was just labeled as quirky when I was a kid. I’m glad for the diagnosis, though. It's cool to have a name for it.”

Taekwoon nods. He understands completely. “I was four,” he says.

Wonshik is interested. “How was it growing up with a label?”

The songs are forgotten, and the two of them end up speaking for a long time about their experiences and struggles and triumphs. Though he was in disbelief at first, Taekwoon realizes that they have a few things in common that comes from being autistic. Wonshik has some sensory and socializing issues, and he uses animals as a coping method for anxiety. There's differences too, but it's a good reminder that no two neurodivergent people are exactly the same.

"Let's just keep this a secret right now, though," Wonshik tells him near the end of the conversation. “Not many people know.”

Taekwoon promises.

 

-

 

"How was your day with your new best friend?" Hakyeon asks as Taekwoon walks into the kitchen after getting home. There's takeout containers of noodles on the table, and Taekwoon's stomach grumbles loudly. He's starving.

He sits and digs in. "Good," he says with a mouthful of food.

Hakyeon dramatically sighs. "I was all alone today. Bibi wouldn't even cuddle with me. I thought about Taekwoonie and wished he still loved me.."

Taekwoon laughs and playfully shoves Hakyeon's shoulder. "I do love you."

Hakyeon beams at Taekwoon, then pulls him in for a noodle flavored kiss. "I know," he says. "I love you too. I'm so glad you had fun."

Taekwoon recounts the entire day in detail. He talks about the animal shelter, about playing with and bathing Pongo and about how cute she is and how he wants to adopt her ("Maybe someday," Hakyeon says). Then he continues on to the music studio and all the songs he listened to. He did not mention Wonshik’s secret, eventhough he wanted to a lot, because he made a promise to not say anything.

"Well, I hope you're free next weekend," Hakyeon says after Taekwoon's done talking. "I have a surprise."

"A surprise?" Taekwoon is not too fond of surprises.

"It's a big one. I really hope you like it."

That just makes Taekwoon anxious. "Tell me."

"Then it wouldn't be a surprise."

Taekwoon groans, but he already knows Hakyeon isn't going to budge on this. He tries to think of what it can be, things that he has recently mentioned about wanting to do. Maybe they'll adopt Pongo, or go to an amusement park, or buy a swimming pool, or visit the beach.

Hakyeon says no to every one of them. “You will see,” he sings, booping the tip of Taekwoon’s nose. Taekwoon just licks him in retaliation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i finally introduce wonshik in this series, it only took me 3 yrs,,,, orz
> 
> the next chapter is a big, longer one! im curious to see if anyone will guess what the surprise will be? :^)


	3. a surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for the comments on the second chapter, you all are so sweet ;^; hope you enjoy this one as well!

Taekwoon spends all week on edge.

He's so nervous about what Hakyeon's surprise is. He tries to calm himself, but nothing works, not even seeing the daily pictures of Ongdongie that Wonshik sends him. He does trust Hakyeon. He knows Taekwoon better than anyone else, and if it was something that he needs a lot of preparation for Hakyeon would surely not surprise him with it. Even with that reasoning, Taekwoon struggles to be at peace.

He tries hard to get Hakyeon to slip up and let the surprise out. He attempts to bribe him with cuddles and kisses, and by cooking his most favorite meals. He says _I love you_ many more times than needed, and though it all makes Hakyeon melt he still doesn't budge.

Taekwoon even goes to other people. When Minsol calls, he asks has she heard anything about it, and her answer is no. He messages Hongbin too, because he is Hakyeon's best friend, and all he gets back is a wink face. He’s not sure what to take that as. Further questioning leads to nothing.

So then he asks Wonshik, because maybe Hongbin has mentioned something to him, but he hasn't heard anything about it.

Taekwoon wakes up on Saturday with sweaty palms and a pounding heart. Today is the surprise, and he still has no clue what it could be. He takes deep breaths, in and out in and out, and then ends up stress cooking an entire dozen of eggs for breakfast. He doesn't even like eggs that much.

Hakyeon is perplexed when he walks into the kitchen. "What's with all the eggs?"

Taekwoon's too busy to answer, stuffing his mouth full. Hakyeon wordlessly takes the rest of his plate away, just dumping them into the trash. That is just a waste of food, and the poor chickens probably worked hard to lay those eggs. Taekwoon is angry. He hisses at Hakyeon like Bibi does whenever he gets scared of the vacuum cleaner.

Hakyeon is unbothered. "Is this about the surprise?"

Taekwoon hisses again.

"I guess I shouldn't have mentioned it," Hakyeon says. "I'll tell you about it. It's something I bought. It's something we'll be using for a very long time, probably forever."

That does help ease Taekwoon's nerves a little bit. It knocks a lot of his ideas out though. "Swimming pool?"

Hakyeon laughs. "No."

"New car?"

"Sort of close, but no. How about we go out to eat breakfast and then we'll head over to the surprise?"

So the surprise is a _location_? Taekwoon has never been more confused. It's something Hakyeon bought, so it can't be the beach or the zoo or the amusement park. Unless Hakyeon somehow got a bunch of money and was able to buy one of those things. Taekwoon wouldn't mind that at all.

 

-

 

They have a good breakfast of pastries and tea at their favorite breakfast cafe before heading to the surprise. Taekwoon's anxiety has settled down a lot, and he finds himself a little excited to see what it is. He keeps a watchful eye out for everything that they drive by, hoping that he'll be able to spot it before Hakyeon can tell him.

After around less than half an hour, Hakyeon says, "Almost there." Taekwoon perks up and sticks his head out the window. They're in an unfamiliar neighborhood, with lots of houses. A few have children playing in the yard, pets running around, there's the smell of someone cooking outdoors and it makes Taekwoon's stomach growl even though he just ate. He sees a little playground and Taekwoon wonders if that's it at first, but they pass by it.

Eventually, they slow down and Hakyeon pulls into the driveway of one of the houses. It's a cozy looking home with brick walls, a blue door, small front porch. There's pretty yellow flower bushes planted  in the yard. Taekwoon does not recognize any of it.

“Who lives here?” he asks.

Hakyeon grins. “Just come on.”

Taekwoon hesitantly follows him. He doesn't feel good going into the house of someone he doesn't know, but he trusts Hakyeon. They walk up the cement path leading to the porch. Taekwoon notices some kids in the next yard over staring curiously at them as Hakyeon opens the door with a key he retrieves from his pocket. Why does he have a key that fits this door?

Taekwoon's even more confused as they step in and he sees that it's empty. They walk right into an open space, a simple staircase to the right of the room. There's an archway that seems to lead into a big kitchen, but it's also bare.

Hakyeon's suddenly claps, startling Taekwoon. "Surprise! This is our new house."

Without really meaning to, Taekwoon inhales sharply. This is _their_ house?

"It's so spacious, isn't it?" Hakyeon says excitedly. "I think our little home can fit into this one room right here. There's three bedrooms, two bathrooms. We each get our own room and then one to share together."

Taekwoon is unsure of what to say. He just looks around. He steps through the archway into the kitchen. The counters are shiny, and the stove and refrigerator are sleek and black.

"These come with the house," Hakyeon points to them, "and look at how nice this kitchen is. So much room for you to cook. This," he gestures to the big empty space off to the side, "is where we'll put the dining table."

Taekwoon pictures their little table sitting there. He imagines himself cooking with the nice stove, eating at the table and looking out of the french doors that's on the back wall, leading out to another little porch and the backyard.

Hakyeon grabs his hand suddenly. "Please say something," he says worriedly. "I can't read your face."

Taekwoon thinks about everything he's feeling, then finally decides. "I love it."

Relief spreads across Hakyeon's face. "Really?"

Taekwoon nods. He's actually getting a little emotional. He can't believe Hakyeon's bought a _house_. Their very own house. A very nice one at that. He doesn't even want to think about how much it cost, how much Hakyeon spent to buy a space that is fully theirs.

To avoid breaking down, he turns to Hakyeon and just pulls him in for a kiss. Hakyeon makes a noise of surprise at the unexpected action but he quickly sinks into it, snaking his hands around Taekwoon's waist.

They just stand there for a minute and kiss. Taekwoon eventually pulls away, but his eyes are even wetter now than what they were before. He tries to wipe at them discreetly but Hakyeon sees anyway.

"Aw, Taekwoonie," he coos. "Let's see the upstairs now."

As Hakyeon said, they each get their own room so they’ll have individual space and privacy whenever they need it, then the master bedroom is their combined one for sleeping and such. Taekwoon's room has a nice big window that looks out into the backyard. He's not sure what he's going to put in it yet. Definitely Bibi's cat tree. He thinks of buying a little bed or a bean bag, maybe a television.

The best part of the upstairs is the laundry room though. It's more of a closet than a room, just enough space to fit a washer and dryer, but that doesn't matter. They've been without laundry for so long - no more weekly trips to the laundromat. Taekwoon would have never thought he would be so excited to wash clothes. So this is what being a true adult feels like.

"When do we move in?" he asks after the tour is all done.

"Two weeks!" Hakyeon answers. "That's how long our landlord gave us to move out. I was hoping for at least an extra week or two, but you know he's always been kind of a grump."

Taekwoon stares at him in disbelief. Two weeks is not that long. They have to pack up all of their things, and get it moved in two weeks? While working during the weekdays on top of that?

Hakyeon senses his stress. "Don't worry about it, Taekwoonie," he soothes. "I can do most of the packing."

They walk through it once more, just because, and then it's time to go. Taekwoon is actually sad to be leaving the house. Now that he's seen it, he wants to live _here_ , with the laundry room and fancy kitchen appliances. He wishes their belongings could just teleport or something but he knows that's silly thinking. He looks back at their new home out the car window, watching it disappears as they drive off.

“We’ll be back soon,” Hakyeon promises.

 

-

 

Taekwoon packs and packs and packs. He knows Hakyeon told him that he will do it, but Hakyeon is so busy with work and gets off later than him. He does not have enough time or energy to be doing all the packing. Taekwoon dislikes it, but it has to be done.

By the end of the week, most of their belongings are packaged up. Stacks of boxes crowd the living room and their bedroom. It's a bit annoying, except for Bibi, who loves to climb and jump from box to box like it's his own playground. The only things that aren't packed up are their essentials - some clothing, their toothbrushes, bathing products, a few bowls and utensils.

Hakyeon is impressed. "You've done so well," he says to Taekwoon.

Wonshik invites Taekwoon to the animal shelter again that weekend, but he declines even though he really wants to see Pongo. He's just so tired from packing, and on Sunday is when they officially begin moving some things into the new house. A moving box truck will come, and they'll stack the boxes into it, then it'll come back and they'll start loading the furniture.

For now though, Taekwoon sinks down onto the bed and rests.

Hakyeon comes in after being on the phone with his parents. He seems to be agitated, sighing loudly as he plops himself down on the bed as well. "Mom and Dad are insisting on visiting once we're moved in," he announces.

Taekwoon doesn't see what's so bad about that. They came to visit when they moved into this house too. "Maybe we can tell them early then."

Hakyeon shakes his head. "Let's just stick to the original plan, okay? The graduation's in... two weeks? I don't even know. I'm so unorganized right now. I just think it's a bit of a waste for them to drive four hours here, four hours back for a day's visit."

"Say no."

"Do you think Mom will take no for an answer?" Hakyeon laughs. "I shouldn't be complaining though. I do love them."

 

-

 

They spend that weekend moving their belongings into the new house, getting their electricity and other services transferred, and cleaning their old place up for the landlord to inspect. Taekwoon knows the old man was hesitant to rent to them at first because of their young age and Taekwoon's autism, but he thinks they've been good tenants. The house is spotless, no marks or anything that wasn't there when they moved in.

Taekwoon can't believe they're actually moving out. It's all very surreal. This has been their home for around three years. Taekwoon has experienced a lot of growth, and many things has happened here - both good and bad. Looking at the now empty living room reminds him of when Hakyeon surprised him with Bibi on his twenty fifth birthday. Going into the kitchen makes him think of all the times they've made pancakes together and somehow covered the counters and floor all over with batter. Laying down to sleep for the last time in their bedroom floods him with memories of experimenting, of figuring out things that felt good and comfortable for him.

Tonight, they sleep on the floor. Everything is at their new home, but the electricity has been delayed for tomorrow so they have to spend one last night here.

Taekwoon's having trouble falling asleep though. He can't wrap his head around never coming back here again, and someone else occupying their space. He wonders who they will be, if they will have as good as a time as he and Hakyeon has.

He snuggles closer to Hakyeon, who isn't finding sleep easily either. "Will you miss here?" he asks.

Hakyeon hums. "Yes," he answers, "but I'm excited."

"And scared?"

"Are you?"

Taekwoon doesn't like that his question has been deflected with another question, but he still nods in response. He is very scared. He's scared of their new neighborhood, how the people are like and how they'll react to him. He's scared of the house because it seems so open and foreign. He's scared of starting this next part of their lives. It's a significant thing to buy a house with the intentions of living in it forever with the person you love.

That's not a bad thing at all. It's still scary though. Taekwoon isn't sure how it is, but it just is. He suddenly feels like crying, but he forces himself to keep it down. It's been a few weeks since he last cried and he wants to keep it that way.

Hakyeon finally answers his question. "I'm a little scared," he admits, "but it'll be okay."

Taekwoon nods again. If Hakyeon says it's going to be okay, then it must be true.

"We have a lot of unpacking ahead of us," Hakyeon says, "so let's get some sleep."

"I'm not sleepy."

Hakyeon smiles at that, and leans in for a kiss. It makes Taekwoon feel all warm inside. They just kiss each other for a long while, getting more urgent and messy as the time ticks on. Hakyeon's hand eventually goes from Taekwoon's face to the hem of his boxer shorts. They don't do this often, but Taekwoon does love to feel good like this, and tonight is a special occasion so it makes it even better. It's easy to block out all of his thoughts and anxieties as Hakyeon's hand wraps around him.

Taekwoon feels a lot better afterwards. He thinks Hakyeon does too. He cleans the two of them up, and they resume their snuggling. Maybe this is the best part. This softer skin to skin contact, laying together without words, just bathing in each other's presence. Taekwoon presses himself as close as he can and soon falls right to sleep.

When they wake up the next morning, the electricity is gone. The two of them gather the blankets and pillows they slept with and stick them into the car, along with Bibi, who is cowering in the corner of his crate. Taekwoon feels so bad for him.

The landlord comes to inspect the state of the house. He finds it acceptable after a quick walkthrough, and Hakyeon hands over his and Taekwoon's keys. Taekwoon gets one last look at the inside, now so bare and without a trace of them ever being there, before the door shuts and they're out for good. There's a lump in his throat that he swallows back. Is it normal for him to be getting this emotional about moving? He doesn't remember being like this last time.

"Let's go, love," Hakyeon calls. He's getting into the car already as Taekwoon still hovers near the house. There's really no reason to be hanging around any longer though, so he obeys and climbs into the passenger seat.

Almost immediately, he buries his face into his hands and starts to cry.

Hakyeon rests a hand on Taekwoon's knee, unable to do much else because he has to focus on driving. "It's okay to be sad," he says. "We have a lot of memories there, but we'll make plenty more in the new house."

 

-

 

The house is a _mess_. There's boxes everywhere, and none of them have labels that tells what's in them because it completely slipped both of their minds. They have to open to box first to see what's in them, then carry it to the correct room to unpack. It's so tedious. After about an hour of doing this, Taekwoon is tired already. He lays in the middle of the living room floor to rest.

Bibi then lays on top of him. The kitty was frightened at first when they arrived, dramatically running around on his stomach. He's quickly getting used to his new home, but he's still unsure of how to use the stairs.

Hakyeon is chipper. His energy today seems endless. He's in the kitchen right now, wiping off the counters and cabinets before putting their dishes into them, singing songs as he does so.

He tsks when he sees Taekwoon. "Our stuff isn't going to unpack itself," he says.

Taekwoon sticks out his tongue in response.

Hakyeon plays offended. “Hey,” he protests. Unexpectedly, he plops down onto the floor as well, throwing himself over Taekwoon to pinch at his cheek. “We have work to do, Taekwoonie.”

Taekwoon attempts to push him off, but Hakyeon is strong and fights right back. They scuffle around on the floor for a good minute, a confused Bibi sat off to the side watching them, until Hakyeon accidentally jams an elbow into Taekwoon's ribs.

They're both laughing though. It reminds Taekwoon of when they would “wrestle” in mud puddles when they were children.

Hakyeon kisses where he elbowed Taekwoon. He's breathless. “We're too old for this,” he complains as he slowly gets up from the floor.

Taekwoon is still in a playful mood. “ _You're_ too old.”

“Excuse me? We're the same age!”

The doorbell rings then, interrupting Taekwoon's response and the moment they were having.

Taekwoon jumps up and hurries to hide in the kitchen. He has no idea on who it could be, because no one really has their new address yet. He sneakily peeks as Hakyeon goes to open the door.

It's a man, older than them, and a little girl. "Hello," he greets, a bright smile stretching across his face. "I'm Yoonmin, and this is Kira, we live across the street. I noticed you're new to the area, and just wanted to see if there's anything I could help you with."

Hakyeon invites them in. Taekwoon appreciates how kind their neighbor is being, and he doesn't want to seem rude, but a stranger in their new unfamiliar house is the last thing he needs right now. He stands and watches from the kitchen as Hakyeon and Yoonmin chats.

The little girl, Kira, notices Bibi. "Kitty!" she says, then grabs him up into an unintentional chokehold position. Neither of the men sees.

Poor Bibi is wiggling around in her grip, and Taekwoon is stuck on what to do for a moment. He hopes Hakyeon or her father notices, but their backs are turned. As much as he doesn't want to interact with anyone right now, Taekwoon steps out to stop her, because poor Bibi is struggling and he can't just stand there and watch he chokes.

He approaches Kira, and that's enough to make her drop Bibi instantly. He scatters off into the kitchen, and she runs to hide behind her father's legs, staring at Taekwoon with wide, frightened eyes. Taekwoon feels bad now. He really did not mean to intimidate her. He was just going to ask her to put down Bibi, that's all.

The incident goes unnoticed by Hakyeon and Yoonmin. Unfortunately, Taekwoon doesn't.

"This is Taekwoon!" Hakyeon introduces, beckoning for Taekwoon to come closer. He and Yoonmin share a stiff handshake.

"Nice to meet you," Yoonmin says kindly. "Are you guys married?"

Taekwoon freezes. Hakyeon stutters out, "No, no we aren't. We're just roommates."

"Oh...well, just saying, this neighborhood is very accepting."

"...That's good to know."

It's so awkward now, Taekwoon cringes. Hakyeon did not sound convincing at all when he said they were roommates. They're not _married_ either, but definitely not just roommates.

Kira tugs on her father's pants. "Dad, let's go," she whispers. "He's scary."

She doesn't have to specify who it is she's talking about. Taekwoon's hurt, though he knows he does have a somewhat menacing face and demeanor, and Kira looks to be about four years old at the most, she doesn't know what she's saying.

"That's not nice," Yoonmin scolds.

Taekwoon and Hakyeon exchange a glance, talking with their eyes as they so often do, and Hakyeon says, “I hate to be rude, but we have so much left to unpack…”

Yoonmin apologizes, and they finally say their goodbyes after that, inviting Hakyeon and Taekwoon to go over to their house anytime. Taekwoon watches out the window as they go back home. He wonders if Kira is going to tell the other neighborhood children about how scary he is. He doesn't want to be known as someone who’s mean, especially not to children.

 

-

 

The first week in their new house is mostly uneventful after that.

They get most of their packing done, and it feels more like home now with all of their stuff and furniture out. Taekwoon cooks a few meals with the fancy stove, and he thinks it makes his cooking taste even better. He loves having his own room, and likes sliding down the banisters of the stairs, though Hakyeon scolds him for it. He can honestly say he doesn't miss their old home at all anymore.

They have a small housewarming get together with Hongbin, Sanghyuk, and Wonshik - they bring food and wine, and even Taekwoon drinks a little bit of it. He enjoys seeing Hakyeon and Wonshik talking together finally.

After everyone leaves, Hakyeon gives him his approval. "He's a good person," he says. It makes Taekwoon even happier. He really values Hakyeon's opinions of others.

Taekwoon buys a giant, fluffy bean bag for his room. It costs almost an entire paycheck, but it's worth it because it's so soft and will be good for when he's having bad days. He sets up Bibi's cat tree in there too, and that's about it for his room for now. Hakyeon turns his into both an office and candle making room. They make an agreement to knock before entering since these are their personal spaces.

Minsol calls, and Taekwoon gives her a video tour of the house. He's been so busy lately that they haven't had a lot of time to talk, but Kyungeun's graduation is coming up really soon. He's pretty excited for it, especially when Minsol tells him they can all go to the zoo afterwards if they have enough time. It's been a while since he's been to one.

The excitement of moving wears off soon enough though, and life gets back into its normal routine. Taekwoon works, and cooks, and plays around in the yard with Bibi. He sometimes sees kids staring at him from their own yards. He wishes they would stop. Or maybe come over and he'll play with them too.

One night after dinner, as Hakyeon is washing the dishes and Taekwoon sits in the floor, playing around with Bibi and a laser pointer, Hakyeon tells him, "Mom will be here tomorrow. Dad's back is hurting him again so he won't be coming."

Taekwoon nods. Although Hakyeon protests, she still insists on visiting. Taekwoon doesn't mind though. She's nice and always brings something delicious to eat because she loves to bake and has her own little home business out of it. He looks forward to whatever she will be bringing tomorrow.

"Then the next day, we're shopping for a washer and dryer," Hakyeon continues, "and then..."

He goes on about the rest of their week, and Taekwoon tunes him out. He just doesn't feel like thinking about all of the boring adult things they have to do. They have to buy so many new things for the house, like curtains and rugs and a sofa, and Hakyeon seems to be so excited about it. It's just not Taekwoon's thing. He wonders if he can get out of it by hanging out with Wonshik instead.

Taekwoon misses his friend - besides the dinner they all had, he still hasn't gotten the chance to see him. He opens their messages up to ask for the next time Wonshik will be free, and looks at the last text he's received. It's a picture of Wonshik at the animal shelter, holding Pongo. It's been a few weeks since Taekwoon has seen her. His heart swells with love. He still wants her so bad. He wishes they had enough room -

Then he remembers that they do. They have a new big house that has plenty of space to raise a dog in. Taekwoon gets so excited he gasps out loud.

Hakyeon stops talking. "What's wrong?" he asks, wiping off his soapy hands.

Taekwoon gets up from the floor. "Let's adopt Pongo," he says.

"Pongo? The dog at the animal shelter?"

Taekwoon nods. "Can we go get her tomorrow?"

"Taekwoon..." Hakyeon says, and Taekwoon does not like that tone of voice because usually it means Hakyeon is about to say something he isn't going to like to hear. "Dogs are a lot of responsibility, and I'm so busy with work -"

"I can take care of her."

"You don't understand. Dogs are different. They need more attention, and walks, and frequent bathroom breaks. They're not easy like cats.”

This makes Taekwoon mad. He hates being told that he doesn't understand something. Especially when it's Hakyeon saying it. "Cats aren't easy,” he argues. He has to always make sure Bibi has plenty of food and water, and keep the litter box clean, and brush him everyday. Bibi is a clingy cat too, he requires just as much affection as a dog does.

Hakyeon sighs. "No dog right now, okay?”

“You're annoying.”

Now Hakyeon looks angry too. “ _You’re_ annoying,” he snaps.

Taekwoon is not sure how to respond to that. He doesn't think Hakyeon has ever called him annoying before. "I want Pongo.”

"I'm not arguing." Hakyeon storms out the kitchen then.

Taekwoon is shaking. He hates getting into fights with Hakyeon. It's rare, but when they do happen it gets to Taekwoon badly. He feels bad for calling Hakyeon annoying. It's just he was being so condescending towards Taekwoon, and it was really frustrating.

He goes upstairs and heads to his room. Hakyeon must be in his own, and Taekwoon considers knocking on his door but decides against it. He goes to his instead and plops down into his giant bean bag. It's the first time he's had to use it. Bibi climbs into his cat tree. He seems to really enjoy it.

Taekwoon tries to distract himself by turning on some music. Wonshik has been introducing him to a lot of different musicians lately. He likes soft voices with slow songs, because it soothes him. He lays there and listens for a long while as his body settles down.

He knows it's normal for people to have disagreements, especially couples, but there's always a small part of him that's worried about Hakyeon not liking him anymore whenever they argue. This time he even called him annoying too. Hakyeon doesn't really think that, does he?

Taekwoon just tries not to think about it. He listens to the music and makes mental notes of some of his favorite songs. Wonshik says to let him know the ones Taekwoon likes best so he can give more recommendations.

It's just about half an hour later when Taekwoon hears a knock at his door. He's been expecting it, so he immediately says, “Come in.”

Hakyeon enters, slowly at first, seeing how Taekwoon's mood is first. "Taekwoon," he says. "It’s almost bedtime, and I don't want to go to sleep angry at each other. That fight was stupid."

Taekwoon nods. It was silly. "Okay."

"We can talk about Pongo later, alright?"

"It's okay." Taekwoon wants her, but he doesn't want Hakyeon giving into him just because he feels bad. It's his house too, his feelings matter just as much.

"I took it too far, I'm sorry. You're not annoying. I'm just stressed about Mom's visit.”

Taekwoon shakes his head. “ _I_ did,” he says. “Sorry.”

“Let's just agree we both said something we shouldn't have,” Hakyeon suggests.

That sounds reasonable to Taekwoon. Hakyeon is right, they were both acting out. He gets up from his bean bag to give Hakyeon an apology hug. Then, just to make sure, he asks, “You still like me?”

“Of course I do, Woonie,” Hakyeon answers, hugging back tightly. “Let's get to bed."

 

-

 

Taekwoon stands at the window for most of the next morning and waits for Hakyeon's mother to arrive. She knows where they live now because Hakyeon gave her their new address, and she has a GPS in her car that will help her get here. Her car is red, so everytime a red car drives down the street Taekwoon gets excited but so far, all of them have just rode on by.

“Are you really looking forward to seeing Mom so much, or is it for the food she’ll bring?” Hakyeon teases.

Taekwoon grins. Maybe it is the food, but he wouldn't say that out loud. His mom is a good person though, he enjoys seeing her too.

After forever, a red car slows down and pulls into their driveway. Taekwoon calls for Hakyeon before heading out the door to meet her.

She's just as happy to see him. "Taekwoonie!" she exclaims as she gives him a big hug. She's a good hugger. Hakyeon must have inherited his hugging skills from her. "It's been so long."

Hakyeon comes out as well, a wide smile spread upon his face. "Hi, Mom," he says, and she gives him an even bigger hug.

They help carry her bags into the house. Taekwoon can smell something delicious coming from one of them. It smells like some kind of pie. His mouth waters and he wants to see what it is, but he knows it's not polite to go through other people's bags so he restrains himself.

Lucky for him, it's not long before she pulls it out to show him. He was right - it's a pie. "Cherry,” she says. "Just for you! I know you love my cherry pie."

Hakyeon pouts. "Mom, I don't even like cherries."

"Taekwoon does though! Didn't you hear me? This is for him." She and Taekwoon laugh as Hakyeon playfully grumbles about her loving Taekwoon more than her own son.

There's more though, some things that Hakyeon will eat. She brought a blueberry pie, some chocolate muffins, and a pound cake as well. There's so much sweets and desserts, Taekwoon wonders how they will be able to eat it all before it goes bad. He definitely wouldn't mind having pie and cake for breakfast, lunch, and dinner if Hakyeon would allow it.

Hakyeon's mother isn't staying for long. She'll be leaving after dinner tonight so she can get back home before it gets too late. They give her a brief tour of the house, receiving plenty of interior design tips in return, and then they all just sit on the back porch to catch up. They eat muffins and drink iced tea as they talk. Hakyeon tells her about work, and Taekwoon tells her about Wonshik and Pongo.

She's on Taekwoon's side. "Remember Wong?" she says to Hakyeon. "You loved that dog! It's time you get another one."

"We'll see," Hakyeon answers, smiling towards Taekwoon.

Hakyeon has some work to catch up on, so the other two go to an outdoors market to buy the ingredients needed to create a spicy seafood stew. She's going to teach Taekwoon how to cook it, so he'll be able to anytime. They buy fresh seafood - shrimp, scallop, and squid that is still moving. Taekwoon feels so sad for it.

Hakyeon’s mother talks during the entire time they shop. She tells Taekwoon stories about Wong, and some cute ones from Hakyeon's toddler years that Taekwoon really enjoys.

She goes to the topic of their new home, “I was so surprised when Hakyeonie told me he bought a _house_ ,” she says.

“Me too.”

She sighs. “I'm just afraid he's given up on finding a partner. Usually, people wait to buy their first home with their spouse.”

Taekwoon nods, keeping his face expressionless. He does feel sorry for her, because he can tell she’s truly worried about Hakyeon. He cannot say anything though so he tries to just act sympathetic.

“Hakyeonie’s fine,” is all he tells her. It must be the right thing to say, because she reaches up to pat his cheek and thank him for the reassurance.

As soon as they're home, they start on the stew. It's a little easier to make than what Taekwoon was expecting. It helps that Hakyeon's mother is an understanding and patient teacher, just like Hakyeon. He must have gotten that from her too. It smells so good that Taekwoon's stomach grumbles multiple times throughout cooking. He attempts to lick the spoon secretly but he always ends up getting caught and scolded at.

Taekwoon tries to act cutely innocent though. Hakyeon told him he’s so popular with elder ladies because he has a natural, endearing cuteness about him. He tries to take advantage of that whenever he gets the chance. So the next time he licks the spoon, Hakyeon's mother just laughs. It worked.

Taekwoon's excited when they all finally sit down at the table to eat. Even Bibi has some at his food bowl - Taekwoon made sure to set some unseasoned shrimp aside for him, and he's loving it.

The atmosphere at the table is bittersweet at first, because once dinner's over with Hakyeon's mother will be leaving again. Although they’ll be seeing her again soon, departure is never easy. Conversation is pleasant and going well, then she asks the question that Taekwoon knows Hakyeon has been dreading all day.

"Have you been seeing anyone yet?"

Hakyeon sighs. He looks uncomfortable. "No, Mom, you'll be the first to know," he says, then quickly tries to change the subject. "Pass me the bread please, Taekwoon. This stew is amazing. You'll be making this at least once a week from now on, you know that?"

Taekwoon laughs. "Okay," he says. He wouldn't mind. It is _really_ good.

"I know someone you might like," Hakyeon's mother says. She is just as persistent as he can be. "You're still into men, aren't you?"

It's so unexpected that Taekwoon almost spits out his mouthful of stew. He looks at Hakyeon, panicked. How does she know already? Hakyeon was supposed to tell her when they visit for Kyungeun's graduation, that was still the plan, wasn't it? Hakyeon meets his eyes with an equally frantic look.

"Uh," he says. "Ye-yeah, Mom. That's not something that's going away."

"I know, Hakyeon, just making sure, I guess," she chuckles. "This man is so nice though. He's a dentist, and frequently buys muffins from me for his grandmother -"

Taekwoon is confused. He wonders if someone told her before Hakyeon could, but he doesn't know anyone that would have. There's only a handful of people that know and none of them are in contact with her, that Taekwoon’s knows of. And why wouldn't they just tell everything, tell her that Hakyeon is already in a relationship with him?

They're kind of arguing when Taekwoon tunes back in. "I know I'm almost thirty, Mom," Hakyeon is saying, "but there's no correct age to settle down."

"I'm getting old, honey," she replies. "Your father and I don't want to leave this world, seeing you alone -"

"I'm not alone!"

"He has me," Taekwoon helpfully offers.

"You're right," Hakyeon’s mother says to him, "but I mean something different, you know what I'm talking about. A forever type of person."

Taekwoon glances over at Hakyeon, because he's unsure of what to say next. Hakyeon seems to be fighting something within himself. He finally sighs, then says, "Mom, Taekwoon is that person.”

There's silence. Taekwoon isn't sure if he's even breathing right now. They've discussed it, telling their families and such, but it doesn't compare to the real moment. Not even close. Taekwoon suddenly understands why Hakyeon was so hesitant to agree on coming out, because he feels like he's suffocating almost. He watches Hakyeon's mother's reaction go from shock to confusion.

"I don't understand," she finally says.

"We've been together six years," Hakyeon tells her. "I'm _already_ settled down."

Taekwoon nods. "Boyfriends," he adds, just in case she needs a little more help understanding.

Hakyeon gives him a smile, but it's strained.

“ _Six years_?” she repeats. “You've kept this from me all this time?”

“I’m sorry,” is all Hakyeon says, but he’s looking at Taekwoon when he says it. Taekwoon tilts his head to the side, questioning, but Hakyeon shakes his head.

"I don't know what to say,” his mother sniffs, and Taekwoon realizes she's crying. She dabs at her eyes with a napkin. "I dont know if I approve.”

Taekwoon was not expecting her to say that, and it feels like a spear going through his chest. He sets his chopsticks down, because his appetite has disappeared. Hakyeon was right when he said to be prepared for a negative response. Taekwoon was stupid to think it would go well. He wipes at his now wet eyes, refusing to let any tears fall.

Hakyeon reaches over and shortly rubs Taekwoon’s back, comforting. “Mom,” he says. “I want to talk privately.”

Taekwoon watches as the two of them get up from the table and then go into the living room. Taekwoon stays seated, but he can hear some bits and pieces of their whisper-arguing. His name comes up a lot. He knows eavesdropping is bad, but after a few minutes of just sitting there he gets restless. He sneaks to the archway of the kitchen, careful to not be seen, and strains his ears to listen to what is being said.

“...I’m concerned,” Hakyeon's mother is saying, “that you’re giving and giving and receiving nothing in return.”

“That's not true, Mom,” Hakyeon argues. “Taekwoon is committed to me just as much as I am to him.”

“You've bought a _house_!” she says. “Are you making all of the mortgage payments too? Does Taekwoon even know what a mortgage is?”

Taekwoon does know what a mortgage is, thank you very much. He can't believe she's talking about him like this, when she's been nothing but good to him for over twenty years. Suddenly he's a problem, just because he's dating her son.

And what does she mean by Hakyeon receiving nothing in return? It's true Taekwoon doesn't make much money at the library, but he still buys groceries, most months he pays the water bill, and he buys Hakyeon little presents even when it's not his birthday.

He's had enough of listening in on their conversation, so he goes back to the table and pokes at the stew that's getting cold. He eats a little bit more as he waits, but he just feels sick. He wants to go to sleep, and then wake up and discover that tonight was just a nightmare.

It is a _long_ time before the two of them return. Taekwoon is surprised to see that Hakyeon has his arm around his mother, and she seems to be in a better mood.

Even more unexpected, she comes up to Taekwoon and gives him big hug. “I'm sorry, Taekwoonie,” she says as she pulls back. “I was caught off guard. I'm sure you and Hakyeon are perfect for each other.”

Taekwoon is dumbfounded. “What?”

“We talked it out. It's okay.”

Taekwoon looks over at Hakyeon, who smiles. He's not sure of what to think of this situation. He wonders how Hakyeon got his mother, who is usually so stubborn and doesn't budge on anything, to accept Taekwoon as his partner so quickly.

He is hesitant to accept her words, but he does. He also tells her, “I know what a mortgage is.”

The rest of dinner is okay. She asks questions about their relationship, and mostly Taekwoon answers them. Hakyeon is more quiet than usual. He's probably overwhelmed.

Neither of them are that sad to see her leave. They stand outside as she drives off, waving goodbye. They don't go back into the house until her car's down the road and out of sight. Once they're in, the air seems heavy. Hakyeon still hasn't really spoken. Maybe he isn't feeling well, or maybe he's just so shocked at what tonight turned out to be. He sits on the living room sofa, running a hand through his hair.

It's actually worrying Taekwoon a little. "What's wrong?" he asks, sitting down next to him.

Hakyeon shakes his head.

"Aren't you happy?" Taekwoon asks. "She likes us.”

“I had to talk her into it,” Hakyeon says. “I knew that was how she was going to react.”

“It was fine in the end.”

Hakyeon sighs, but gives no response, so Taekwoon keeps talking. "I wonder who told her about you?” he says. “Do you know?”

Hakyeon glances over at Taekwoon, and Taekwoon thinks he's never saw him look this sad before. "I did."

Taekwoon blinks in confusion. "When?"

"Two or three years ago."

That doesn't make any sense. Taekwoon can't wrap his head around it. Just a few weeks ago, Hakyeon was all stressed and worried over coming out, but now he's saying he's already done it years ago? If he did, then why didn't he just go ahead and tell her about them?

"My dad knows too," Hakyeon says, "and all of my coworkers. Not just Hongbin."

Taekwoon shakes his head. He's feeling a bit faint. He still doesn't understand what's going on right now. "Not about me?" he asks.

"No," Hakyeon answers. "I haven't been completely honest with you.”

Taekwoon presses his hands over his ears, so he can not listen to anything Hakyeon is saying right now. He doesn't like where it's going at all.

It helps very little. “I've been out to everyone, for years,” Hakyeon's muffled voice says. “I just didn't  tell people I was with you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .....plot twist?  >< im nervous about posting this chapter adhdkshs ik some ppl get squicked out by angst, so don't worry, eventually there's a happy ending !!
> 
> let me know your thoughts~


	4. a truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry this chapter is so late but i really struggled with it ><
> 
> big thank you to [ theflyinganonymouse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theflyinganonymouse) for helping me fix it up!!

Taekwoon thinks he's just been punched. With a bus. A thousand times. He doesn't know, all he knows is Hakyeon’s words are so bad and they slice at him painfully and Taekwoon feels like he can't breathe.

“What?” Taekwoon asks. Maybe he's misheard. Maybe he's misunderstood.

Hakyeon takes a shaky breath, like this is hurting him as much as it is Taekwoon. “I’ve been lying,” he speaks. “People at work, my friends have known for a while. Then I came out to Mom and Dad. They all just… think I’m single.”

“Why?” Taekwoon says it more to himself than to Hakyeon. He doesn't really want to know why. He doesn't want to hear anymore bad things. He jumps up from the sofa, backing away from it like Hakyeon is made up of fire. He kind of is right now.

Hakyeon gets up too. "I know that sounds bad, Taekwoon. Let me explain myself." He approaches him, an arm outstretched. 

Taekwoon flinches away from it. "Don't touch.” 

"I'm sorry, love. Listen -"

"No," Taekwoon says. "Leave me alone.”

He runs upstairs because even though he's hurt himself, he can't stand seeing Hakyeon's pained expression. He goes to his room, and just paces around and takes deep breaths. Why is this happening? He doesn't know how Hakyeon can justify what he's said and done. There's no way. The one person Taekwoon thought he could always trust, and just like that he's been betrayed. 

Taekwoon curls up on his bean bag, making himself as small as he can manage, presses his hands over his ears, and closes his eyes tight. He tries to block out all of the pain he's feeling,  but it doesn't help at all. He has never felt so much hurt at one time; he didn't know it was even possible to. 

He pinches himself on the arm to see if he's just dreaming, then another two times, but he doesn't wake up so it must be real. He whimpers.

The door slowly pushes open, and Hakyeon peeks his head in to call for Taekwoon. It makes Taekwoon angry, so angry, because this is  _ his _ private room and Hakyeon is supposed to knock and wait for approval before entering, that's the rule. 

“Knock!” he shouts.

It startles Hakyeon enough for him to quickly shut the door, and then knock again - but Taekwoon isn't going to allow him to come in and he never will. 

Once he doesn't answer, Hakyeon says, “Taekwoon, I'm really sorry. Please let me explain.”

There’s nothing to explain, Taekwoon already knows that. There's no good reason for keeping such a big lie going on for so long.

Hakyeon is ashamed, embarrassed to be with Taekwoon - he already knows. For six years, it's been Taekwoon’s constant worry, so it shouldn't be a surprise to find out it’s true. And Taekwoon had always been so certain that Hakyeon was a good normal person, but he was dumb to believe that. Good normal people don't exist.

The longer Taekwoon lays there, the more suffocating everything he's feeling gets. Anger and intense sadness mostly, but also fear. The sense of safety he's had all of these years is gone.

Taekwoon knows that whenever there’s a situation he doesn't feel safe in, the rule is to  _ get away quickly _ . His phone is in his pocket already, so he gets up to grab his charger, then slides on a hoodie because it's a little cold outside. Bibi stares up curiously at him from the floor. Taekwoon thinks about taking the kitty too, but staying home would be better for him. Hopefully Hakyeon will remember to give him food.

Hakyeon is still right outside his door when he comes out. “Where are you going?” he asks, but Taekwoon doesn't stop. He continues down the stairs, ignoring Hakyeon’s words, “Taekwoon, it's dark, don't leave.”

Taekwoon goes out the door. He walks for a long time, not really thinking, just letting his feet carry him wherever. Soon his surrounding neighborhood is gone, and he has no idea where he's at, since he's still not too familiar with the entire area yet. Once his feet are too tired to go on he just sits on the edge of someone's yard, staring off into night. 

It's dark and scary and cold, and Taekwoon’s entire body is shaking from everything that's happened tonight. It doesn't feel real. He's still not completely convinced that this isn't a dream, so he pinches himself some more, and slaps his palm against his head, but he doesn't wake up.

His phone vibrates with a call from Hakyeon, but Taekwoon is  _ not _ going to answer. He doesn't even feel bad about it. 

Taekwoon hugs his knees to his chest and rocks back and forth. The thought of someone seeing him and finding his behavior suspicious crosses his mind, but he can't bring himself to worry about that too much. No matter how hard he tries, he can't get Hakyeon’s confession out of his mind.

Eventually, Taekwoon gets up and continues walking to nowhere in particular, trying his best not to feel to scared. He comes across a convenience store that sits on the corner of an intersection. Stopping at it sounds like a good idea. He needs to sit and figure out exactly what he's going to be doing now that he's away from home.

There's a coffee bar, and Taekwoon has just enough to buy a cup and some chocolate, just to help cheer himself up. The cashier keeps shooting him nervous glances - Taekwoon thinks the hoodie makes him look like he’s about to rob the place. 

He sits at one of the plastic tables, picking at the chocolate, which doesn't seem to be helping his mood. His phone is vibrating almost continuously without breaks and Taekwoon is afraid it's going to explode. It's Hakyeon spamming him with messages and calls. Without a doubt, he's worried, but Taekwoon doesn't care. He's hurt and angry, and now annoyed that Hakyeon is treating him like a runaway child.

Taekwoon doesn't want to go home, so he calls Wonshik, because he's the first person to come to mind. It rings for a long time, and Taekwoon is afraid that he's too busy or something to answer, but he finally picks up. 

“Help,” is all he can think of to say.

"What's wrong, hyung?" Wonshik asks, worry in his voice

"I.." Taekwoon does not want to go into all the details right now, he's too tired, so he just says, “I'm lost.”

" _ Lost _ ? Where's Hakyeon?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

He hopes Wonshik doesn't ask anymore questions. Thankfully he doesn't, except for, "Do you have an estimate of where you're at?"

That's easy to answer. Taekwoon gives the name of the convenience store to Wonshik, who promises to be there as fast he can.

Now that Taekwoon knows help is coming, his head is a little more clear, and he realizes just how scary it is to be out alone at night. He squeezes his eyes shut and tries not to think about tonight's events that lead him to being here, but again. He keeps seeing Hakyeon's face, hearing the painful words he said to him. 

Taekwoon wipes at his eyes. It seems like he's been crying so much lately.

Wonshik arrives faster than expected. Taekwoon climbs into the passenger seat of his shiny black car, leans his head back, and closes his eyes. Wonshik doesn't say much, other than asking Taekwoon if he's okay. Taekwoon nods. It's just easier.

Once they arrive at the apartment, Wonshik leads Taekwoon to his guest room. The bed is huge and has a fluffy quilt, and Taekwoon buries himself into it. His phone is still vibrating from Hakyeon but he ignores it. He knows he'll eventually have to talk to him. Just not right as he's trying to calm his mind and get to sleep.

Wonshik leaves, then comes back holding Ongdongie, who he lays next to Taekwoon. "He can sleep with you tonight. You look like you need it."

Taekwoon place a hand on the pup, tracing his finger on his wrinkles. "Thanks.” He won't have Bibi to curl next to him tonight, so Ongdongie is exactly what he needs.

He thinks Wonshik is going to leave him be after that, but he sits down on the bed instead. "What happened?" he asks.

Taekwoon sighs. He's exhausted, but he's also itching to tell someone. He wants someone to know how pained and betrayed he feels right now, for them to give him comfort and tell him that everything's going to be okay. The person he usually goes to with this kind of stuff is the one who hurt him, so really his only option is to talk to Wonshik.

So he talks. He tells Wonshik everything from the beginning. From Minsol's phone call, to his and Hakyeon's discussions and planning, to his mother coming, the dinner, then Hakyeon's confession. That's the hardest part for Taekwoon to say out loud. Wonshik is encouraging, humming and nodding sympathetically at all the right spots, never once interrupting Taekwoon or rushing him to get his words out. He's almost too much like Hakyeon in that sense.

"That sucks, Taekwoon," Wonshik says once he's done, and Taekwoon can tell he’s genuinely sympathetic. "I'm sorry. I can't believe Hakyeon hyung would do this. A wolf in sheep's clothing, I guess."

Taekwoon nods, biting down on his lip to keep from crying again. He doesn't want to lose himself completely in front of Wonshik.

"I dated this girl once," Wonshik says, "She kept making excuses on why I couldn't meet her friends, her family. I later found out I embarrassed her for being too boring. Why date me at all then?" He shakes his head as he looks back on the memory. "Why do you think Hakyeon didn't want to tell anyone?"

Taekwoon shrugs. "Maybe I embarrass him too," he mumbles. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay," Wonshik says. "You know you can stay here for as long as you want to, right? I've been thinking about getting a roommate recently anyway."

Taekwoon thinks that’s a generous offer and would be great, but he's certain this place is way out of his budget. "How much is it?"

Wonshik waves a hand in dismissal. "Don't worry about money. You cook, right? Just pay me in meals and taking Ongdongie on walks whenever I'm busy."

Taekwoon perks up a little at that. He would love to hang around the pup and go walking with him. "Okay," he agrees.

Wonshik leaves then. Taekwoon lays back down, his arm draped around Ongdongie, who is snoring very cutely. The little noises are rumbly and kind of soothing. Taekwoon is still hurting, but it's just a little bit duller now. At least he can stay here with Wonshik for now, and take care of little Ongdongie.   
  


-

 

In the morning, Taekwoon is woken up by Wonshik shaking his shoulder. It's disorienting at first, opening his eyes to this strange room, but then he remembers where he's at and why he's there. Depression comes over him. So all of that really wasn't a nightmare.

“Hyung,” Wonshik says, words slurred with sleepiness. “Hakyeon's here.”

That really wakes Taekwoon up. “Why?” How does he even know this is where Taekwoon went? He didn't answer any of the messages he received last night. He’s beginning to suspect Hakyeon has him microchipped or something. It wouldn't be surprising.

“He’s brought some of your stuff.”

His  _ stuff _ ? “I don't want to talk to him.”

Wonshik nods, then leaves, presumably to go talk to Hakyeon for him and get whatever the stuff is. Taekwoon must really be moving in with Wonshik, since Hakyeon is so eager to track him down and bring his belongings. He wonders how long he's been waiting to get rid of him.

That really hurts to think about. 

Taekwoon can hear Hakyeon’s voice as he speaks, though he can't make out whatever he's saying. It makes him shake, to be so close to Hakyeon right now but feel so distanced from him. He doesn't like it. 

Wonshik is back in a few minutes, carrying an old shopping bag. Hakyeon didn’t bring much. He hands the bag over to Taekwoon. “I mentioned to Hongbin you were here, and then he snitched to Hakyeon. Sorry.” 

So no microchip. “It's okay,” Taekwoon tells him.

The bag has only a few things. First and most important is Taekwoon’s medicine, something he completely forgot to grab when he left last night. Then there's his melatonin tablets, a few clothing items, and his house key. 

“That's thoughtful of him,” Wonshik says, and Taekwoon begrudgingly agrees. 

Wonshik points to the medicine. “What are these for?”

“Anxiety.” Taekwoon takes the orange prescription bottle in his hand, turning it over and over to listen to the clattering of the pills inside. He remembers when he began to take these a few years ago, how much he struggled with the fact that he needed medicine, and all the different kinds he went through before settling on these.

That was a rough time. The first ones Taekwoon tried made him irritable, and he was always yelling at something or someone, the next ones made him constantly drowsy, then the next gave him an allergic reaction. It was one of the toughest periods of his life, trying all of these different medicines, and he knows it was hard on Hakyeon too, yet there was never a time he complained. He was always supportive. It brings tears to Taekwoon’s eyes.

Wonshik notices. He pats Taekwoon's knee in an awkward attempt to comfort. “I took anti depression meds in high school,” he shares. “Sometimes we just need a boost.”

As sad as Taekwoon is right now, that makes him smile just a bit for some reason. Maybe it's because Wonshik has completely misunderstood the real reason he's crying. “Thanks.”  
  


-

 

Taekwoon was thinking about skipping the library today, but he decides to go. It’ll be good to have something normal going on in his life.

He focuses on his work extra hard just to get his mind off of things. He tries to act like himself, like everything is fine, and he thinks he pulls it off.

The end of the day comes much quicker than it usually does. Taekwoon was really enjoying the distraction of working. Now he's a little lost on what to do next. He can't go back to the apartment, because Wonshik didn't have a spare key to give Taekwoon so he isn't even able to get in. Wonshik is supposed to go get him a key made sometime today, whenever he isn't busy.

Taekwoon sits on a bench outside the library, deep in thought. Maybe he can go to the animal shelter and see Pongo, or take a walk around the hiking trails in the park, or call Minsol just to talk to someone and not feel as lonely as he does now. It's been a long time since Taekwoon has had loneliness, so he's not sure what he's supposed to do with it.

He just sits for a while. He watches traffic, and the people bustling around on the sidewalks, and eventhough he tries to avoid it his eyes eventually wander over to the cafe that sits across the street. The cafe that Hakyeon worked at when they first came to the city and lived in the apartment, as Hakyeon went to school and Taekwoon began his job at the library. That seems like such a long time ago now. It doesn't feel like real life anymore, there's some kind of disconnection between Taekwoon and those memories.

He remembers Hakyeon’s first day at the cafe, how terrified he was of being left alone for the first time. He cringes as he thinks of himself diving onto the ground when the internet service installator knocked on the door. Taekwoon can't believe he was ever  _ that _ paranoid.

His phone buzzes with a call and he's pulled from his memories. It's Hakyeon. Taekwoon stares at the screen. Hakyeon should still be at work right now. Did he even go into to work at all? 

Maybe he shouldn't, but he answers. He just doesn't say anything.

"Taekwoon?" Hakyeon speaks. "Are you there?"

Taekwoon stays quiet, though his heart pounds. 

"Did you get your things?” Hakyeon asks. "I was worried when I saw you forgot your medicine.”

Taekwoon lets out a barely audible, “Yes.”

“Good,” Hakyeon sighs with relief. “I would love for you to come home. I worded what I wanted to say in the worst way possible, it's a huge misund-"

Taekwoon hangs up in the middle of Hakyeon's sentence. Maybe it's rude, but he doesn't care. He knows they'll have to talk sooner or later. He's just not ready to right now though. He doesn't want to hear Hakyeon's excuses and reasoning on why he said what he did, why he lied to Taekwoon in such a huge way. Not yet.

After that, Taekwoon decides to go to the animal shelter. Being around a bunch of cute animals is just what he needs today. 

The staff seem happy to see him, recognizing him from the time he visited with Wonshik. They recently rescued a litter of newborn puppies with no mother, so Taekwoon's job today is to help feed them liquids through a medicine dropper. 

The puppies are so tiny they don't even have their eyes open yet, but they still smack at the food greedily. Taekwoon's favorite is a black one with a single white dot on his left ear. This one is the smallest of all the puppies, yet he eats the most. Taekwoon is in love with it. Maybe he even likes it a little more than Pongo, but he won't let her know that.

Even when feeding is done, he continues to hold the runt for a little while longer, running his fingers gently across its sleek fur. The pup yawns, producing a little whining sound, and Taekwoon's heart melts. Yes, this is definitely what he needed. Puppy therapy.

Taekwoon stays until it's closing time for the shelter, then he heads back to the apartment since Wonshik is home now. When Taekwoon arrives, he's given a key. He feels a little weird about having the key to a place that isn't really his, but he still takes it so he'll be able to come and go as he pleases.

He looks in Wonshik's refrigerator, which mostly has takeout plates and containers and half empty bottles of various condiments. His cabinets aren't any better. They're bare besides a few packages of ramen noodles. Taekwoon is used to the luxury of having fresh ingredients to cook with, so he's a bit stumped by the state of this kitchen. Especially since Wonshik is definitely able to afford to buy groceries. 

Wonshik walks in and catches him staring inside the cabinets. "Ah," he says. "I guess I should actually go shopping sometime so you're able to cook."

Taekwoon nods.

"We can just go out tonight," Wonshik suggests. "I'm free tomorrow, I'll go to the store."

Wonshik’s bedroom is in an even worse state than the kitchen. While the rest of his home is spotless and without clutter, his bedroom is a mess. There's a trash can overflowing with balls of paper (“My discarded ideas,” Wonshik says), his bed is unmade, and there's a few pizza boxes on his dresser. The thing that sticks out the most though is the biggest pile of laundry Taekwoon has ever seen that sits in the corner.

Wonshik catches him staring at it. “I'm a little behind,” he chuckles nervously.

“A little,” Taekwoon parrots.

“Uhm, yeah,” Wonshik stutters. “I don't know - I can't do laundry. It's one of those things that’s easy for other people, but hard for me. You have those, don't you?”

Taekwoon nods. There's plenty. It's still concerning because it seems like Wonshik does zero laundry. “What if you run out of clothes?”

“I just buy more.”

That is one of the most ridiculous things Taekwoon has ever heard. He has to laugh, but it's not in a malicious manner at all, because he  _ gets _ it. He's absolutely done things like this to avoid something that makes him anxious. It's just funny how their minds work sometimes.

They get back to the subject of dinner, and end up going to a small hole in the wall restaurant that Taekwoon has never heard of, but Wonshik loves. He goes on and on about how delicious their pork belly is, and he's right. Taekwoon has never tasted pork belly this good before. The rice is cooked perfectly as well. Wonshik tells him he can eat as much as he wants, and Taekwoon definitely accepts his offer.

"I got a message from Hongbin earlier," Wonshik says through a mouthful of meat. "Hakyeon hyung was really distracted at the office today. He got yelled at by their director."

Guilt washes through Taekwoon. Hakyeon works so hard usually, so the thought of him getting in trouble pains him. He hates that it does, because he's still angry and he thinks Hakyeon doesn't deserve his sympathy, but he just cares a lot about him and that's not going away anytime soon. 

Wonshik notices the expression on Taekwoon's face. "It's not your fault," he reassures. "Hakyeon hurt you, remember?"

"He said it's a misunderstanding," Taekwoon answers.

"It might be, but that doesn't erase your pain, does it?"

Taekwoon shakes his head, but Wonshik is right. Even if it is a misunderstanding, and Hakyeon really did use the wrong words like he said he did, it doesn't change anything. He still said them. He still lied to Taekwoon. Taekwoon has a right to be angry and not speaking to him right now.

“He looked tired this morning when I saw him, like he didn't sleep,” Wonshik says, and sees Taekwoon getting that same feeling again. “He brought this on himself! He shouldn't have lied.”

“I worried him,” Taekwoon says, his voice cracking. He has tried really hard today to not break down but it's so difficult to hold back. 

Wonshik seems to be taken aback by Taekwoon’s tears, but he gathers himself. “You had a right to leave, hyung.”

Taekwoon doesn't want to talk about Hakyeon anymore. He wipes his eyes, and changes the subject to Wonshik, asking him questions about his day and Ongdongie. He’s glad to get the attention off of his problems for now.  
  


-

 

The next morning, Wonshik convinces Taekwoon to stay out of work and go with him instead to run errands and visit a few places. Taekwoon is hesitant, because all he wants right now is routine, familiar and comforting. The library are all of those things, especially during a time like this. 

But Wonshik insists. “It’ll be good for you!” he says. 

Eventually Taekwoon agrees and they leave pretty early, because they have many places to visit - mainly the salon, which is where they go to first. Wonshik is going to get his hair dyed again. 

"I want to try something new,” he tells Taekwoon. “I’ve never had orange before.”

_ Orange _ ? Hakyeon was right - Wonshik is a character. In a good way. 

It's interesting to see Wonshik change his hair so much, because Taekwoon’s hair has always been the same. He's never dyed it, and it's been around a year or two ago since the last time Hakyeon trimmed it. It's now the longest it's ever been, almost reaching down to his shoulders. With long hair it's easier to be sneaky and to hide his face, and he likes to twirl it around his fingers. 

Taekwoon sits in the waiting area as Wonshik greets the hairstylist, who leads him to one of the chairs that sit in front of a big, lit mirror. He watches as they chat for a minute, and Wonshik gestures over to him. Taekwoon is surprised when the stylist comes over and grabs his hand, leading him to the chair next to Wonshik. 

Taekwoon gives him a confused look.

"Get your hair done, hyung," Wonshik encourages. "It’ll make you feel better. You still want it blue?"

Blue hair? Taekwoon knows he mentioned it that one time, but he thinks he wouldn't ever actually dye his hair some striking color like that. He always gets enough stares as it is. He shakes his head, glancing over at the hairstylist nervously. 

She looks him over briefly. "What about blonde?" she suggests. "It would look good."

That seems to be more reasonable. Taekwoon sees plenty of people with blonde hair in the city. It doesn't take long for him to make the decision. His life has been all over the place and full of changes lately, so why not dye his hair while he has the opportunity? 

"Okay," he agrees.

Wonshik smiles. "Izzy will look after you well. She's dyed my hair many times."

Another man comes over to Wonshik while Izzy begins to tend to Taekwoon. She examines his hair, running her fingers all through it, which does feel good. 

She hums. "Let's cut your hair too,” she says. "You'll look more mature and masculine."

Taekwoon isn't sure how to respond to that, but he does need a haircut so he says yes. It's just hair anyway. If he ends up missing it being long, he can always grow it back. Or maybe buy a wig. 

He can’t help but wonder what Hakyeon is going to think, whenever they do see each other again. He seemed to be fond of Taekwoon's long hair too.  
  


-

 

Taekwoon cannot believe how different he looks.

It's pretty unsettling at first. He stares at himself in the mirror, poking and prodding at his face to make sure it's really him. His hair is now much shorter and a light blonde. Izzy has styled it to where it's pushed back, showing off his forehead. Taekwoon doesn't know what he expected. It's certainly different, but that doesn't mean he dislikes it though. She was right when she said he would be more mature - as for more masculine, he thinks that's just subjective. 

Wonshik has changed his hair color to a bright orange, like he said. He somehow pulls it off. "Pumpkin," Taekwoon says when he sees it. Then he points to his own head. "I'm lemon."

"You look great, hyung," Wonshik gushes. "Like a different person."

Taekwoon feels like one too. He wants nothing more than to take a picture to send to Hakyeon right now, so he can see how much he's changed in such a small amount of time. 

Taekwoon doesn't have too much time to wonder on sending anything. Wonshik is done soon and it's time to go. He pays for both of them - Taekwoon is glad because he doesn't have that much money right now. 

They go to the mall, because Wonshik has to buy his boyfriend something for his upcoming birthday. He'll be visiting tonight, after being out of town for a while, and Taekwoon is actually pretty excited to meet him.

They end up in a high-end clothing store. "I'm trying to get him into fashion," Wonshik explains. Taekwoon doesn't care about fashion. His wardrobe is casual and comfortable with ripped jeans and t-shirts, so he declines when Wonshik offers to buy him anything he wants.

The two of them go home after Wonshik is finished picking some clothing out, because their errands took longer than expected and they're both tired. Instead of going to the market and buying stuff to cook, Wonshik says he can just order something to be delivered. 

Taekwoon doesn't know how to feel about eating so much restaurant food. He and Hakyeon tries to avoid it as much as possible, only eating out on Taekwoon's low spoons days. He wonders when’s the last time Wonshik ate a home cooked meal. He really does need a roommate, someone that will make sure he's keeping on top of things like that.

Taekwoon is laying in bed, resting and waiting for the food to be delivered when his phone screen lights up with a call from Hakyeon. Taekwoon is quick to answer this time. He hates admitting it, but he really misses Hakyeon and wants to tell him everything that's happened.

"Taekwoonie," Hakyeon greets. "How are you doing?"

"Good." Taekwoon has to think of what he should say first. Should he start by telling Hakyeon about the puppies? Or about dying his hair? 

"I'm glad," Hakyeon says. "I miss you. Are you ready to come home?"

_ Home _ . He does miss it too. "I don't know."

Hakyeon lets out a jagged breath. Maybe he had been expecting Taekwoon to be going home already. "Okay. You can come back anytime."

"Okay," Taekwoon mumbles. He doesn't like how tense and awkward this conversation is going, because it's two feelings he's never had before with Hakyeon. He wonders if it's going to be like this forever. Will they ever get back to how they were before? He wishes he could rewind time and just somehow avoid Hakyeon's secret getting out. Ignorance is bliss. It was better than living like this, with the truth.

"I'm cooking right now," Hakyeon says, and that worries Taekwoon for a moment because Hakyeon is so bad at most forms of cooking that he's capable of burning the entire house down. "Just some scrambled eggs and toast."

Taekwoon's reply is cut off by Wonshik opening the door, poking his head in quick enough to say, "He's here! Come meet him."

"I have to go," he tells Hakyeon. "I'm meeting Wonshik's boyfriend."

"Oh. Well, have fun. I love you."

"You too."

It's such a natural response that Taekwoon doesn't even think about it at first, not until he's hung up and realizes what he said. Although he is upset and angry, he still loves Hakyeon and wants him to know that.

Taekwoon prepares himself before going out to meet Wonshik's boyfriend. He's anxious because he knows nothing about him other than Wonshik describing him as  _ really cool and funny _ . He must be a good person though because Wonshik is absolutely in love with him. At dinner last night, all he did was gushed about wanting to marry him despite the fact they’ve only been together for a few months.

Taekwoon slowly walks down the hall and into the living room, stopping as he sees the two of them in a hug. Strangely, it makes him feel bitter. He hasn't had a Hakyeon hug in days.

When they pull apart though, Taekwoon has to blink several times to make sure he's not seeing things. Wonshik's boyfriend looks exactly like Jaehwan, the guy Hakyeon dated so long ago.

Maybe it is him, because when he turns and sees Taekwoon staring at him, his eyes widen with recognition and he gasps. "Taekwoon?"

Taekwoon doesn't know how to react. "Hello," he says. It's so low though he doesn't think he was heard.

"You know each other?" Wonshik asks, looking back and forth between the two of them. "What? How?"

"I dated his friend for a while," Jaehwan answers, still staring at Taekwoon, but not unkindly. 

"Hakyeon hyung?"

Jaehwan squeaks. "You know Hakyeon too?"

It feels like Taekwoon's brain is melting. It's so hard to comprehend that Wonshik is dating Jaehwan, of all people. Not that it's a bad thing. They were awkward, but Jaehwan was never really nasty to Taekwoon. It's just surreal that they're crossing paths again like this. Taekwoon's never really given much thought about him since his split with Hakyeon.

“I guess there's no point in introducing you to each other then,” Wonshik says, shuffling uncomfortably. “This is awkward.”

Jaehwan waves a hand. “No, it’s fine.”

“...But he and Hakyeon hyung are  _ together _ now, you know.”

“That doesn't surprise me. They were always all over each other.”

Taekwoon's face turns hot. Were they really that obvious? 

They migrate over to the kitchen, where there's tons of foods laid out - Wonshik ordered a feast, there's a little bit of everything. Taekwoon grabs as much as he can. His eating has no limits when he's wound up like this. "I see you still have your big appetite," Jaehwan teases when he sees Taekwoon's plate.

Taekwoon doesn't answer, just takes a big bite of food instead. 

"He's still the same," Jaehwan laughs. "He rarely talked to me."

"Really?" Wonshik says. "He talks often. I guess we've gotten pretty close, haven't we hyung?"

Taekwoon nods. He thinks Wonshik is already one of his closest friends, despite not knowing him for that long. Maybe he can try to get closer to Jaehwan too, though. Truthfully, one of the reasons why it was difficult for them to form a relationship in their teen years was because Taekwoon was jealous, and wasn't too happy with sharing Hakyeon. That was a long time ago though, and Hakyeon is his now, so there's no reason to have any ill feelings towards Jaehwan.

So he does try to join in on their conversation as much as he can. He learns that Jaehwan is now both a freelance artist and a part time musical actor, getting smalls roles in a few musicals. Wonshik wanted to commission some artwork for his studio, found Jaehwan's online portfolio, and fell in love, as he puts it, as soon as they began talking. 

Jaehwan asks questions about Hakyeon and what he's been up to, then express interest in reconnecting with him. It seems he wants to be on friendly terms too.

“I need to get advice from Hakyeon,” he says, “on how to deal with Shik’s executive dysfunction, and other quirks. He has a lot of experience.”

“Experience?”

Jaehwan nods. “He's been caring for you for twenty years, he’s basically qualified for an autism degree now.”

Taekwoon finds that lowkey offensive. Wonshik scoffs. “There's no such thing! And anyway, you should come to  _ me _ with stuff like that. I know me best.”

Jaehwan and Wonshik fall into their own chat, and Taekwoon starts feeling like a third wheel. They’re holding hands under the table, trying to be discreet but failing, and being all giggly even though there's nothing really funny. Taekwoon decides to excuse himself so they can have privacy. He's tired anyway. Today was busy.

He lays with Ongdongie in bed, snuggling his face into the pup's wrinkly body. He used to think wrinkly dogs were a little ugly, but after spending time with Ongdongie he's grown to appreciate their unique beauty. He thinks about Pongo and the puppy at the shelter. He still really wants at least one of them.

That reminds Taekwoon of the argument he and Hakyeon had. Thinking back on it now, it seems so petty. 

He wonders what Hakyeon is doing right now. Is he in bed already, thinking of Taekwoon? Did he have a good workday, did he eat plenty? Does he enjoy having these days and nights to himself, or is he as miserable and lonely as Taekwoon is?

Taekwoon has had a really good time here. Wonshik is a good person to be around, and it's rare to find people like him. Despite that, Taekwoon is still empty. All he wants is Hakyeon. He's the only one that makes Taekwoon feel complete, even when he's angry at him.

It's kind of frustrating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter will be up much sooner, i promise. and as always, comments are greatly appreciated c:


	5. a reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you a bunch for all of the nice comments that was left on chapter 4, along with the messages i received on tumblr/twitter!! you all are too sweet and it means a lot <3

That night, Taekwoon's dreams consist of home. Nothing particularly bad or good, just _home_. Him cooking dinner and waiting for Hakyeon to come back from work. Playing with Bibi and his fish toy. Sleeping in his own bed and waking up to Hakyeon next to him.

Ongdongie wakes Taekwoon up for real by licking him right in the mouth. He sputters, and then softly pokes one of the pup’s wrinkles in retaliation. “I was _dreaming_ ,” he says, like Ongdongie understands.

Ongdongie jumps from the bed and runs to the door, looking back at Taekwoon, who has to giggle at how cute he is. He gets up and lets Ongdongie out, and follows him down the hall and into the kitchen. Taekwoon can smell food, and when he enters he sees that Jaehwan is at the stove flipping pancakes.

He smiles at Taekwoon. “Good morning,” he greets. “Pancakes?”

Taekwoon nods, and Jaehwan piles some pancakes onto a plate. They have oozing chocolate chips in them, Taekwoon’s most favorite kind. He drizzles a ton of syrup on top too. He knows if Hakyeon were here, he would be nagging him for having so much sugar in the morning.

“Wonshikkie’s still asleep,” Jaehwan tells Taekwoon as he sits with him at the table. “I made an early morning run to the store because he has like, no groceries at all. I don't know how he's even alive.”

“So much restaurant food,” Taekwoon answers. So much.

Jaehwan laughs for a moment, then he turns serious, clearing his throat. “I know it's not any of my business, but Wonshik told me you and Hakyeon are having problems,” he says. “He lied to you big time.”

Suddenly, Taekwoon’s pancakes do not taste as good as they were a second ago. “Yeah,” he mumbles, poking at a chocolate chip.

“I think he had good reason.”

Taekwoon frowns at Jaehwan, unsure if his words are meant to be malicious or genuine. How would he know Hakyeon's intentions? They haven't spoken in years. “Why?”

“It just doesn't sound like him to lie out of meanness,” Jaehwan answers. “I remember how sensitive and protective he was over you.”

“Really?”

Jaehwan scoffs. “He was always at my throat for saying or doing the wrong things,” he says. “Anyway, I think he was lying to protect you.”

That gets Taekwoon’s interest, because not once has that reason crossed his mind. “Protect me,” he repeats.

“The world is a scary place. I'm sure you know that already.”

Nothing more is said after that, because Wonshik comes in and Jaehwan’s attention turns to him. Taekwoon excuses himself because he needs to get ready for work. He feels like a third wheel around them anyway. It's like they're the only two people that exist. But he understands that feeling. He gets it with Hakyeon.

Taekwoon works extra hard at the library since he missed yesterday. His and Jaehwan's little conversation plays around and around in his mind, all the way until the end of the workday. It comes quicker than Taekwoon is expecting, and he's left wondering what he should do now.

Wonshik and Jaehwan is out with Ongdongie, Taekwoon knows because Wonshik had been kind enough to message him. He doesn't want to join them, because he'll just feel like he's invading on their time together again, but he also doesn't want to go to an empty apartment.

He kind of wants to go home.

... _Just_ to check on Bibi, that's it. He wants to see him and pet him and give him many snuggles, and make sure his food and water bowls are filled. Taekwoon is suddenly aware of the key to their house in his pocket, feeling very heavy and calling out to him to go.

Maybe he should. Just for a bit.

 

-

 

Taekwoon rides the bus. It doesn't take very long to get to his neighborhood, and he gets off at the end of his street. Everything looks exactly the same. He has to remind himself it's only been a few days since he left, of course nothing major would have changed. It just feels like an eternity since he's last been here.

He walks down the sidewalk, then it turns into a sprint once he's able to see their house. He's eager to be back. To see Bibi, to lay in his own bed, to cook in his own kitchen, and to even see Hakyeon as well. He is still at work right now though. Taekwoon thinks about calling him or something to let him know he'll be home, but he decides against it. Let him be surprised.

Taekwoon just stands in front the house for a moment. He has to take it all in before he goes inside.

Kira, the little girl that lives across the street, rides a tricycle on the sidewalk towards him. He steps out of her way, because he's pretty sure she's still avoiding him, but unexpectedly she pauses for a moment and stares up at him curiously.

"Why is your hair yellow?" she asks.

Taekwoon pats his head. He had forgotten about his hair. Even this morning, until everyone at the library made a fuss of it. "I'm a lemon."

Kira giggles then continues on with her cycling. The exchange is short and simple, but it still makes Taekwoon grin from ear to ear. Maybe she won't think of him as scary anymore.

Taekwoon opens the door and peeks inside before stepping in. It's a bit overwhelming. The last words spoken in this room were hurtful ones and while just standing here, Taekwoon is able to relive that moment vividly. The feelings that hit him that night come back just as strongly.

Maybe it's not a good idea to be here. Taekwoon thought it would be best. He really does want to talk to Hakyeon and try to understand why he's done and said these terrible things, to see if Jaehwan was right, but is that really what's good for him? Should he really believe whatever it is that Hakyeon has to tell him? He could just be covering up for himself. Taekwoon hates that it's come to this, second guessing Hakyeon's actions. He doesn't understand why this is happening to him.

Taekwoon sits down onto the floor, and presses the heels of his hands against his eyes to keep himself from crying. What is _best_ for him? He doesn't know. Maybe listening to Minsol and going to live at the group home.

There's a hiss from across the room. Taekwoon looks up and sees Bibi, who's staring at him with angry eyes and an arched back. He hisses again as they make eye contact, backing away farther into the corner.

"Bibi," Taekwoon calls. He's confused. Bibi usually only acts like this around strangers.

Taekwoon scoots closer to the kitty, but he's only met with another hateful spat.

This pushes Taekwoon over the edge. He curls up into a ball and begins to cry. He was away from home for so long that Bibi has forgotten who he is. He is just a cat, but he's still Taekwoon's bestest friend. He's always been there for Taekwoon no matter what, always giving him the best purrs and licks. Taekwoon thinks his new behavior is probably even more hurtful than Hakyeon's.

He lays on the floor for a long time. Bibi is no longer hissing but he's still sitting in the corner, suspiciously eyeing Taekwoon.

Taekwoon eventually has to get up, because Hakyeon should be home from work any minute now. He flips on some lights and wanders into the kitchen - he hasn't eaten anything since the pancakes and his stomach is beginning to grumble. He's glad to see that Bibi has been getting fed at least- his bowl is half full. He still cares about him even if he isn’t loved anymore. The kitty has followed him into the room, still glaring at the stranger in his home, but he goes to his bowl and eats.

Taekwoon is in the middle of eating a big slice of leftover cherry pie when he hears the car pull into the driveway. He hasn't thought about how he's going to greet Hakyeon. He considered hiding and just coming out when he feels like it, but he's tired of running away from his troubles. The sooner they meet again and talk about it, the better.

The door opens. Bibi runs to greet Hakyeon, and Taekwoon can hear him saying, "Hello, Bibi, did you miss me?" Taekwoon is a bit miffed that Bibi seems to have gotten closer to Hakyeon while he's drifted away from him.

"I had a long day," Hakyeon says, still talking to the cat. "How was yours?"

Bibi meows in response.

Taekwoon is _really_ irritated now. He's the one that usually has conversations with Bibi. He huffs, making sure that he's loud enough for Hakyeon to hear him.

It's quiet for a few moments, but then Taekwoon can hear Hakyeon's footsteps coming towards the kitchen. He peeks inside, eyes widening when he sees Taekwoon sitting at the dining table. Taekwoon looks down. He pokes at his pie like it's the most interesting thing in the world. Hakyeon comes farther into the kitchen, carefully as to not aggravate Taekwoon.

Finally, he says, "Hey."

"Hello," Taekwoon says, to the pie. "I'm home."

There's a few moments of silence. Taekwoon stares at the pie, and Hakyeon stares at Taekwion, taking in every inch of him like he’ll disappear at any second. The tension in the air is so much that Taekwoon wants to run, but no. No more running.

"Can I give you a hug?" Hakyeon finally asks.

Taekwoon nods. He has missed being hugged. He stands and allows Hakyeon to wrap him tightly in his arms. He is so warm and soft and still smells really good, like the cologne he sprays on everyday. Taekwoon buries his face into Hakyeon's shoulder and takes big sniffs, which makes Hakyeon laugh. Taekwoon has missed that as well. Maybe he's just missed Hakyeon as a whole a lot more than he had realized.

After an eternity, they pull back, still sticking close as Hakyeon cups Taekwoon's face in his hands, giving him another thorough look over. "You're blonde."

"Yes."

"Did you get a tattoo as well?" Hakyeon teases. "You look so different."

Taekwoon remembers what Izzy said to him. "Mature and masculine."

Hakyeon laughs at that, then becomes more serious to say, "I've missed you a lot. You have no idea how lonesome I've been. It felt like... a huge chunk of me was absent. I could barely function. It's so good to see you again."

Taekwoon nods. Hakyeon's words settle in him like a heavy weight. He can relate to them in a way, but he also isn't sure if he should believe any of them. He's reminded of why they were apart in the first place - the hurtful things Hakyeon said, the huge lie he kept up. Taekwoon refuses to get caught up in guilt and forgiveness just yet. He needs to hear what Hakyeon has to say about it all.

And then he'll have a big decision to make.

As much as he loves the man in front of him, he couldn't continue to be with someone who felt the need to hide their relationship. Taekwoon doesn't deserve that, he knows. Maybe if this was happening a few years ago, when he was still very dependent and naive, he would let this slide. This is now though. He's grown a lot.

He hopes it doesn't come to that. He hopes Hakyeon is right to say it's just a misunderstanding, that there was good reason to lie to Taekwoon for so long. For him to purposefully not want others to know they're together. He wonders what Hakyeon is going to say. It's scary to think about.

Taekwoon is pulled from his thoughts when suddenly, he feels softness rubbing against his legs. He looks down to see Bibi, loudly purring and staring up at Taekwoon expectantly. Taekwoon breaks away from Hakyeon to scoop him up. There's no hissing or scratching, just warm kitty licks on his nose. He almost can't believe it. It's like Bibi had never forgotten him.

"Bibi likes me again," he says. He's so excited, it erases almost all of the sadness he was feeling before.

"Again?"

"He hissed at me," Taekwoon explains. "He forgot me."

Hakyeon considers this before saying, "It must have been your hair. He just didn't recognize you, that's all."

That makes sense. Taekwoon can't believe he didn't figure that out earlier. Of course it would be confusing to the kitty for his owner, who usually has long and dark hair, to come back with short and blonde hair instead.

 

-

 

Hakyeon insists on eating, seemingly starving, so they call in food to be delivered. Taekwoon is not too happy. He's actually sick of restaurant food and is craving a homecooked meal, so he just pokes at it. Hakyeon however, stuffs himself - Taekwoon suspects that he hasn't eaten much during the few days he was gone.

It's a quiet dinner, the only noise being Bibi’s pitiful meows as he begs for some of the food. Hakyeon makes small comments here and there but nothing really worthy of replying to, so Taekwoon stays silent. He's too busy focusing on what's coming _after_ dinner.

Once they're done eating though, Hakyeon says, “Are you tired? Do you want the bed? I can just take the couch.”

Taekwoon scoffs. Is he really trying to stall their impending conversation? That doesn't make him look good. “I want to talk.”

“Okay.” Hakyeon is hesitant. He gestures towards the sofa and they sit on opposite ends. Bibi jumps up and curls into a ball between them, like a barrier. Taekwoon places a hand on the kitty's fur to keep himself grounded.

“What do you want to talk about?” Hakyeon asks. It's really annoying how he oblivious he's acting, so Taekwoon gives him a death glare, which works. Hakyeon sighs. “No, you're right. We need to talk. My real question is, what do you want to know first?”

“Why…” Taekwoon begins, but there's so many _why_ questions he wants to ask. He settles on the one that’s bothering him the most. The hardest one. “Why don't you want people to know that we're together?” He tries to be calm, but his voice cracks at the end. This is going to be so difficult. “Am I embarrassing?”

Hakyeon shakes his head. “No,” he firmly answers. “You're not embarrassing. It has nothing to do with you. It's more.. other people."

“You're afraid of what they think?” Taekwoon doesn't think that's any better of an excuse.

“More or less,” Hakyeon answers, “but not in the way you may be thinking.”

He continues on, “People usually look on the surface of things, and then they form thoughts and opinions on that. They refuse to dig deeper, and hate when their beliefs are challenged,” he says. “Seeing things that are different makes them confused and afraid, so in return they label it as wrong.”

Taekwoon stares. What is Hakyeon even on about? What does this philosophical rant have to do with answering Taekwoon's question? He struggles to connect the dots.

“What I’m saying is,” Hakyeon senses Taekwoon's confusion, “people will see us as wrong.”

“Because we’re men?”

“Well, yes,” Hakyeon says, “but this isn't about that. This is about you being autistic, and me not.”

Taekwoon stomach drops. Of course, it shouldn't be a surprise, he knew that's what this entire thing was about, but still hearing it come from Hakyeon stings a lot. A few tears fall from his eyes.

Hakyeon slides closer, taking Taekwoon's hand into his. “You know I have no problem with that though, right? I wouldn't change you even if it was possible.”

“Really?” Taekwoon has heard Hakyeon say it countless times, but it's always going to be something he needs affirmation on.

“Of course, Taekwoon. I like you exactly as you are.”

“And I know you. I see you as a complex person with big personality, a good thing,” Hakyeon continues to speak, more softly now. “But many others, they don't. You know what I’m trying to convey don't you?”

“Maybe.”

Hakyeon carefully thinks of what he should say next. “People see me as your caregiver. Have you noticed? Whenever they realize you're different, they assume that's what I am. Like,” he pauses to think of an example. “That guy at the aquarium, remember?”

Taekwoon nods.

“So you're, like -”

“A child,” Taekwoon finishes. Simple-minded, easy, innocent, naive, he's heard it all.

“To them, right? On the surface. They don't bother with trying to know you. And since you're a child, you're not capable of consenting to a relationship.”

Taekwoon wipes at his eyes. He didn't expect the conversation to turn here, and it's upsetting for Hakyeon to be saying these things even if he doesn't believe them.

“What does that make me, if I'm with a child?” Hakyeon says. “Sick, taking advantage of you-”

“ _No_.”

“I know, love. That's just what it looks like to others.”

“And I’ve just always been scared,” Hakyeon continues, “that you would be taken away or something. Especially after your family re-entered your life. And all of this about Minsol wanting you in a group home has really boosted those fears.”

They wouldn't do that. Taekwoon's  family wouldn't take him away from Hakyeon against his will, would they? They wouldn't force him into a home. He has a say in what he wants in life. No one can make him do anything he doesn't want to do.

Taekwoon sniffs, trying to say something but his voice fails him. Hakyeon patiently waits. He pets Taekwoon's hair, and he leans into the touch. It feels even better than what it usually does since he's been touch starved for a few days.

He knows what Hakyeon's getting at now though. He doesn't fully understand _all_ of it just yet, but enough of it to realize that Hakyeon had no malicious intents by keeping Taekwoon in the dark. He still has questions, and a part of him is still hurt, but knowing Hakyeon's true motives now gives Taekwoon a feeling of peace. He really isn't embarrassed or ashamed of him. That alone is enough to calm most of Taekwoon's nerves.

“It's scary,” Taekwoon finally says. He had never thought about others seeing their relationship in that kind of way.

“I know. That's why I didn't say anything to you.”

It’s exactly what Jaehwan said - Hakyeon was lying to protect him. Now Taekwoon feels bad for ever doubting Hakyeon. He gives him a big hug, squeezing tightly. “Sorry for leaving,” he mumbles.

“Don't apologize, you had every right,” Hakyeon says. “You don't even have to forgive me for lying. I’ll understand. I just wanted to explain why I did.”

“What happens if I don't forgive?”

Hakyeon mulls over the question, an unreadable expression on his face as he thinks of all the possibilities that could come from Taekwoon denying forgiveness. “That would be up to you,” he finally says. “You could stay or go.”

Taekwoon nods. He already knows. “Stay,” he says, and he sees relief washing over Hakyeon, “but don't lie again.”

“I promise I won't. Never,” Hakyeon vows. “So are we okay now?”

“Mostly.” Taekwoon still has unanswered questions, but that can wait for tomorrow. He's been through enough tonight, and it's late. He's emotionally and physically tired.

Then Taekwoon realizes, Hakyeon has gotten his chance to speak, but there's still so much that _he_ has to say, about everything he's done while he was away. He's once again stuck on what he should share first, if he should at all right now.

Hakyeon recognizes the struggle on Taekwoon's face, he's seen it plenty of times before. “Got something to say?” he gently prods.

Taekwoon decides to go with the most shocking. “Wonshik is dating Jaehwan.”

The look on Hakyeon's face is comical. “ _What??_ ”

Taekwoon tells him all about it, how surprise they were to see each other, what Jaehwan has been up to since they last spoke. He makes sure to mention several times the positive things Jaehwan had to say about Hakyeon, because Taekwoon knows Hakyeon has always felt bad for how things went and ended.

Hakyeon is relieved to hear that Jaehwan holds no grudges. “I was so obviously into you all throughout our relationship,” he says, making Taekwoon blush, “I felt guilty.”

They talk for at least another hour or two about their time apart, telling each other every single detail, even the unimportant bits. In the ten years they've lived together, it’s the first time they’ve been separated for more than a few hours, so hearing everything is interesting. Taekwoon thinks it's funny. Maybe they really can't function without each other.

 

-

 

Waking up in his own bed in the morning feels so good, especially when he turns over and sees Hakyeon. It's really not a dream this time. Happiness swells inside him. He had really thought he would never get this back. Of course, not everything is perfect just yet, but it's a good start and Taekwoon is going to stay in the present and cherish it.

As Taekwoon checks his phone, he sees he has a few concerned messages from Wonshik asking where he is, and then another one from Minsol reminding him about Kyungeun’s kindergarten graduation in just a few days. Taekwoon groans. With everything that has been happening, he had actually forgotten about it. It would be fine with him if they just skipped it. He's not sure if he wants to tell his family now, Hakyeon has opened up new fears in him and he's okay with hiding for longer. He can just deal with his sister's pestering.

Taekwoon decides to answer her later after he and Hakyeon has talked about it. He does let Wonshik know that he's back home, and tells him he’ll go by sometime to grab the few belongings he has there and to give the spare key back. It would just feel weird to keep it if he's no longer staying.

Taekwoon lets Hakyeon sleep and goes downstairs to make breakfast. Bibi yowls for food as well, so he gives him a can of tuna as a special treat.

Because of his good mood, Taekwoon prepares a lot. He's so excited to get home cooked food he sits down to eat immediately, not waiting around for Hakyeon to wake.

Taekwoon plays with Bibi in the backyard for most of the morning, running with a long stick dragging behind him as Bibi chases it. It's fun and gives him good exercise, so it's a win all around. He's missed playing with Bibi so much as well. He can't resist giving the kitty kisses on his nose, though it annoys him.

Hakyeon still isn't awake by the time they come back in. He must really be sleep deprived. At least it's Saturday and not a workday.

Taekwoon's eating second breakfast, because he can, when he gets a phone call. It's Minsol. He almost declines it, but he has ignored her texts and calls for two or three days now, so she might be getting worried. Or maybe something’s wrong, their mother has been sick for a few weeks and Minsol told him she would call if anything was to go bad.

Taekwoon has grown quite fond of his mother, so he answers it.

“Taekwoonie!” Minsol greets. “Have you been avoiding me?”

Taekwoon rolls his eyes. “No,” he answers, even though he totally has.

Minsol launches into a speech about how he should _always_ respond to her messages and calls, and does bring up their mother, who is doing pretty well now. She talks about what she's been up to, which is the usual - baking cookies for Sooyoung’s class party, preparing for Kyungeun’s kindergarten graduation, going on jogs with his brother-in-law. Taekwoon has heard it all before so he's able to _mhmm_ and _ohh_ at all the right places without even listening carefully.

“Speaking of Kyungeun’s graduation,” she says. “Are you and Hakyeon still coming? I haven't heard anything in a few days..”

“I don't know,” Taekwoon answers truthfully. He really needs to get Hakyeon's input before giving her a straight answer.

Minsol sighs. “Is this about the group home?”

Not this again. “No, we’ve just been busy-”

“Taekwoon, I need to ask you a question. And you can tell me the truth.”

That doesn't sound good. Taekwoon’s heart pounds. Has she found out already? It suddenly occurs to him that Hakyeon's mother could have already spread their relationship around, she's in contact with his mother. He wonders if Hakyeon made sure to explicitly tell her to keep it a secret until they could announce it themselves.

“Is Hakyeon telling you not to go tour the group home?” she asks.

 _What_? He was not expecting that. “No,” he answers. “I don't want to.”

It's like she ignores him. “You can do whatever you want to do,” she says. “I'm just concerned that you're following whatever Hakyeon is telling you to do.”

They're not even out yet and this is already happening. Minsol assuming that Taekwoon is blindly going along with whatever Hakyeon is saying. She doesn't believe him when he says he doesn't want to go.

It's kind of angering. “I'm _not_ ,” he says. “I do what I want.”

“Are you sure? It's not too late to schedule a tour.”

Taekwoon hangs up. He can't stand not being listened to, and he can't believe Minsol is just completely disregarding everything he's telling her. Why does she think his words aren't his own? He's capable of having thoughts and beliefs and feelings just like everyone else.

It's just not _fair_. Hakyeon really is right, they don't bother to view him as a person, even his own sister. Just looking on the surface is enough for them. And that’s ridiculous. Taekwoon deserves just as much respect as everyone else. He deserves to be treated like an almost thirty year old adult man.

It's so frustrating he could scream. Instead, he grabs the toothpick dispenser sitting on the table, which is the closest thing to him, and throws it as hard as he can. It hits the wall and toothpicks cover the floor.

Hakyeon is walking into the kitchen as Taekwoon does so, the dispenser missing him by just a few inches. He jolts at the noise. “Taekwoon, what's wrong?”

Taekwoon hisses at him. He slides out the chair and gets underneath the table. He feels _really_ , _really_ bad right now and has the urge to hurt himself. He's itchy all over. He wants to peel his skin off to get rid of the feeling.  

“Calm down, okay?” Hakyeon doesn't come down to him because he knows it’s best to keep his distance right now.

Taekwoon presses the heels of hands into his eyes, rocks back and forth and tries his best to simmer down. He's still shaking and really wants to throw some more stuff, but he restrains himself. He doesn't want to go too far and accidentally hurt Hakyeon.

Bibi meows at him, coming to join him under the table. He rubs his face against Taekwoon's legs. Taekwoon is pretty sure Bibi is really human, he seems to always know when he's upset and needs comfort.

He remains under the table for a while. He sees Hakyeon's legs move about, hears the beeping of the microwave as he reheats breakfast and then him cursing when he takes a bite and it's too hot. That makes Taekwoon smile just a little. Hakyeon has _always_ been impatient with letting his food cool down first.

It takes a while to clean up all the toothpicks. Bibi is no help either, because all he tries to do is play around with them. Taekwoon has recovered from his outburst, but he’s still shaken at almost hitting Hakyeon. He really needs to work on not throwing things.

The last time Taekwoon had hurt Hakyeon, was right after moving into their old home. He threw a fork and it hit his mouth, he still has a white scar that's so tiny the average person doesn't notice it, but it sticks out like the sun to Taekwoon. He avoids looking at Hakyeon's mouth for too long for this reason.

Hakyeon persuades Taekwoon into coming to back to bed with him, because a nap will help him feel better. “Come on, Taekwoonie,” he says. “I’m gonna snuggle you all day to make up for the time you were gone.”

The two of them spend the day doing exactly that. They have things they should be doing, like grocery shopping and buying a new washer and dryer since their plans to do so earlier had fallen through, but Hakyeon says it can all wait. It's been a long time since they've had a completely chill Saturday. This week has been so chaotic, they deserve the chance to breathe. Especially Taekwoon.

They talk more about their time apart, and about Hakyeon's wrongdoing. Taekwoon gets a few more minor questions answered which brings him even more peace. He tells Hakyeon about Minsol’s phone call from earlier and all that was said. He is not happy about it.

“Maybe we shouldn't go,” he gently suggests. “Everytime you speak to her she ends up upsetting you.”

If it was any other time, Taekwoon would happily skip the visit, but this is different. He's tired of hiding and avoiding Minsol. After seeing Hakyeon’s mother's reaction to the news, Taekwoon is so afraid of what his own family is going to say, but he knows it needs to be done.

Six years is a long time to keep a secret relationship, and Taekwoon can't imagine hiding it for another six. He and Hakyeon are at a new level in their relationship too. They have their own home, they wear promise rings, they're settled into each other's lives like pieces of a puzzle. The only thing that's setting them back is not being out.

“I want to go,” he says. “Let’s get it over with.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed!! chapter 6 will be a while, so please wait patiently :-)


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